Four to Doomsday

Another! Another! Next in line. I don't know how long I'll be going in order like this for, but for now it's working pretty well for me. Old episodes used to flow into each other much much more. Oh, Doctor. What is that thing on your head? Oh, jeeze, that was pretty funny. They're talking about Earth fashion and the Doctor says "Some of them even wear safety pins" meaning as earrings. The '80s, I guess. Heh.

Wow, Tegan can draw really quite well. Oh, holy god. It's... well, it's... an African. And the TARDIS isn't translating him. Oh crap, no, it's not an African. He's an Australian aboriginal and Tegan can understand him. There still is no reason why the TARDIS won't translate him. Anyway, he's one of many people from various times and places on Earth, though the rest seem to be translated. And look, there are the people Tegan drew. It's the two green people who weren't the Monarch (played by Stratford Johns? That's not a name).

These Earth people are really weird. Cryptic, lethargic, and weird.

And now we're watching an endless show of Earth culture. Some kind of flute dancing and now some dragon dancing, oh god, why is this happening?? It's like Orgy of the Dead! Oh, god, I'm sorry, Doctor Who. I didn't mean it. I really didn't. It's not like Orgy of the Dead at all. I'm so sorry. Not at all like it. Oh, thank heavens, the dragon thing is ending. Please let there not be more.. SHIT. Now it's Roman gladiator stuff. What kind of boring people prefer this as entertainment to ANYTHING ELSE??? Oh, but the boring Greek guy is helping the Doctor do... something. Um, did the Monarch just say... "Flesh time"? I don't know how to feel about that.

No, yet more! Now it's the Australians! Oh for the love of all that is clay, who thought this was a good idea? Waugh! Old Greek guy is a robot! I think they're all robots. Ugh. Oh, god. The Doctor just said "Chinaman". Fucking '80s. Anyway, fleshtime! And here we go with the "androids can't feel love, isn't that awful" and "oh, no it isn't, what's love anyway". The Monarch wants to turn Earth people into robots to save them from sickness and hunger and stuff. It's like Age of Steel and such. So irritating after a point. We won't become robots, get over it. And my god, these people are so DULL. THAT'S the problem with this plan, it makes everyone DULL. SO DULL. An eternity of DULL. This episode is becoming DULL. I THINK I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR ABOUT 48 HOURS WITH ABOUT THREE HOURS OF NAP. I'M HUNGRY. Ok, you know what, Adric is being an idiot. I don't like him any more. I hope he dies soon. Stop telling people about the TARDIS. That's the Doctor's ace in the hole.

Oh, look at that celery on his jacket. Silly man. Hee hee, that was funny. I can't describe it, I suppose I'll show you. I just find this exchange hilarious, especially the end: check it out.

But Adric is the real destructive fool here. He doesn't see the harm in the Monarch wanting to turn all of humanity into robots. What a stupid freak. And HOLY FUCK! Tegan just operated the TARDIS! How did she do that???

The Doctor said he was shortsighted in his right eye. I guess that's what the brainy specs are for. And OH GOD there's going to be more dancing! Oh my god I hope that's not what he meant. And there's a handbook for the type 40 TARDIS. And GOOD GRIEF IT IS MORE DANCING. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS??? Ugh, the Doctor is bluffing very obviously, knowing the Monarch can hear him, saying how cool he's just realized the Monarch is, and Adric actually believes him. What an idiot. He can't die in a fiery inferno fast enough for me. And the Doctor just called Adric an idiot!!! Hooray!!! Finally. And OH GOD IT'S THE FIRST DANCE YET AGAIN. Ugh, Adric was bluffing when he said he'd go along with the vampires, but he's definitely not now. But I think he's just come to his senses and he's going to help the Doctor. Good good.

MORE DRAGON DANCING. I don't know how much I can say from here on in. I just tried to work out after an astonishingly small number of sleeps and basically collapsed after about 15 minutes. Oh for the love of god... enough with the dragon dancing! Oh... oh my... no, please. Whatever that is, I prefer the dragon dancing. Oh, please, oh god... this is so much worse. Diaper wrestling? Clumsy failed gay sex? Please, enough!

Mmm, the Doctor can withstand subzero temperatures for about six minutes. One day I will catalogue all these little facts.

Ok, so I'm not really sure what happened with that ending there, but I don't really care. Nyssa just collapsed, but, again, I just don't care. I'm gonna watch more Four.

Quotes:
"Hello. I am Monarch." "Yes, you look like you might be."