The Caves of Androzani

Ok! Time for the story recently rated the best Doctor Who story of all time. I wanted to watch a Sixth Doctor story, but his first story starts after he's regenerated, which happens in this episode I'm pretty sure. Anyway, it's supposed to be good so it's worth watching. I don't like Peri. She's American, irritating, and not supposed to be too terribly bright. Even the Doctor doesn't seem to like her that much.

Ugh, will she ever shut up? And Gee she's short. Or Peter Davison is tall. Probably both.

Pfft, wow, that's not the sort of animal you'd expect would be able to sneak up on you. Hooray! Peri just somersaulted down a hole and the Doctor was barely perturbed! It would be upsetting how callous he's acting if I didn't hate Peri so much. Ok, a really great exchange about the celery just happened that I can't sufficiently describe or transcribe, so here you go: Why do you wear a stick of celery in your lapel?

Woah! I think that guy just broke the fourth wall to call the audience "spineless cretins". Ok, the Doctor has put his arm around Peri and is being friendly in response to external meanness. And he did note the pain in her leg, even if his initial response was apathetic. Ugh, I don't want to look at lips of some mystery mime up close.

He just did it again! That guy is freaking me out. At least I think it was the same guy. These people are all creepy and violent, it's hard to tell them apart.

Can this spectrox really be the most valuable substance in the universe if the Doctor has never heard of it? Uh oh, here they come for the Doctor and Peri! I wonder how they're going to get out of this one?

And the mysterious mime is laughing. He's wearing a black and white mask of some sort, that's why I'm calling him a mime. Um, this is getting frighteningly close to them actually being shot... Oh noes! They started shooting! How will they get out of it? Will they live? Find out next week on DOCTOR WHO!

That's where they ended the episode, the swine. But I don't have to wait! They seem to be ok, I guess... well, they didn't fall down, and now they're wandering around talking to the mime. Ooh... holy wow! Those were androids that were shot! The mime made androids to be shot so he could talk to the real Doctor and Peri. This is really good! Oh man, the mime is laughing and talking a little too much like Tim Curry, and he's touching Peri and it's making me nervous.

Did that guy just call that other guy a slut? This is weird, yo. I don't get these people. Dude, Doctor, don't tell Peri to bend down and touch her toes when the mime is around. He is so unnerving I can't handle it. Hee hee, you should have seen that, he's creeping on Peri and the Doctor kind of slides up from nowhere in front of her kind of grinning. But I don't want to do another video for this episode. This guy is comically loquacious.

The mime just said "Even I cannot bear to see or touch myself". Mostly, other people cannot bear to see you touch yourself. This guy is a classic wronged vengeful villain. Oh, you see, he's like the Phantom of the Opera, only lame. Um... I think the Doctor just got shot in the head... that can't be good for him. Oh, no, he's ok. Though, that other prisoner guy seems to have kidnapped Peri while the Doctor was out. Oh, lord, mime man is crazy nutso.

Hey, oh yeah, the dragon monster thing. Been a while, I'd forgotten about him.

"Led by your own cupidity"? What is with this guy?

Yeesh, mime just hit the Doctor and now his androids are ripping his arms out! Aw, and the Doctor just gave Salatin and Peri away. Whoops. Oh my, talk about Doctor whumping. Poor guy, this is uncomfortable. Yah! Now he's tied up and blindfolded!

GOD! SUCH A CREEPER! UNBELIEVABLE CREEPER! He's such a creeper, this guy.

Ugh, so much shooting. At least the Doctor is just running away. Although it doesn't make for the most gripping television. Oh, Doctor. Watch where you're going! He just tumbled down a huge slope like an idiot. His hair still looks great, though!

Will the mime just shut up and leave?! His mask came off and everyone is shrieking in horror at his face. Ha ha. And now he's carrying her around talking about how beautiful she is, all sad because she's dying from the spectrox poisoning. Celery! He just tried to cure her with celery! "It's a powerful restorative where I come from" he said! Celery! It didn't work well enough because her breathing and stuff isn't as good as a Time Lord's. Argh! The mime is touching her! Gross!

He's not that bad, really. I mean his face. He has severe burns, but he's not, like, so awful I'm screaming in terror.

Oh noes! The Doctor gave all the antidote to Peri! He is dying!! He just said he MIGHT regenerate, but he doesn't know! It feels different this time! What?! He's remembering all his companions... out of his mouth. They're coming out of his mouth, but there's the Master and he's saying he should die, when the others were saying he shouldn't... Ew, I don't like Colin Baker. Gross, I don't want to watch the next one. He just regenerated in front of her and he's being rude! What a prick! Lame. I'm gonna go watch someone else. The last episode of the old series before the movie, I think.


Quotes:
"Now what do we do?!" "...surrender?"
"If it ever gets out that I executed two androids, I'll be the butt of the army."
"You have the mouth of a prattling jackanapes."
"He said my mind was nearly the equal of his. Incredible conceit."
"How did you get past my androids?" "I don't know. Maybe they liked my face."