Kinda

I'm liking this one (I started this entry about 20 minutes in). It's neat. I like Five more and more each episode, and it's shaping up to be a good one. Tegan is having some kind of weird hallucination, and the Doctor and Adric have been taken prisoner. Apparently the woman who played Nyssa wasn't feeling well or was busy or something because she's resting in the TARDIS. And there's this neat woman who looks a bit like Sarah Jane. She's a scientist and she's the only reasonable one here. I think they like scientists, the Doctor Who people.

So they're on this paradise type planet inhabited by these people called the Kinda and they're pleasant and silent (they communicate with telepathy). These other people, including the scientist, are there on a mission to evaluate the planet for colonization. The Kinda are really primitive, but only because their planet calls for no technological adaptation. The temperature is constant, there are no predators, and the trees constantly bear fruit. Other than that I'm not really sure what the plot's gonna be. Oh, except that the expedition originally had six people and three disappeared.

What the? Who are these people? They're dressed differently and they're talking. They're worried about the Kinda because of the stupid off-world people.

Lol, that was wonderful. The Doctor is in wonder at Adric's magic trick. Then he tries it and totally fails. He's so funny. He just can't understand it. Cute. He learns all he needs to know about magic by the time he's Sylvester McCoy.

Woah, that guy just did a cool '70s disco slidey dance move! And said the phrase "higglety pigglety"! And "method of implementation, fire and acid. Acid and fire." My immediate thought? "Amongst our weaponry...!"

This guy is totally insane. He's sure the plants are out to get him. He wants to burn the whole damn planet because the trees are after him. Now Adric is agreeing with him, but no one can ever know if he's bluffing or not. He seems to do it all the time. Good thing he's reasonably intelligent. Oh, he's being a hero this time instead of a nuisance!

Ok, who the hell is that guy Tegan is hallucinating? What a trip, dude. Ew, what the??? That guy just took over Tegan's body by slithering a worm from his arm into hers in the hallucination! It's... difficult to explain.

Wow, this guy is definitely bonkers. This is fucking weird, dude. But I like it. Confusing as usual, but neat! Oh, good. Saunders is crazy-nutso too. Woah, Tegan is doing a really good job being super creepy and confident.

Ah, I think this is the defining moment when the Doctor decides to learn magic tricks. Good thing, too. Saves him from the Ragnarok later on.

You know, this old woman character looks like the grandmother/sister from that one MST3k episode where the girl says "This is where the fish lives". Ok, the jester is starting to get on my nerves. Will he never stop? Does he have some sort of mental illness?

Well, this guy definitely does. Now he's making paper dolls and talking more crazy.

Well, I stopped writing during the episode and just went ahead and finished it. I'm not tiring of the watching, but I am tiring of the writing.

(Just need to say, I'm watching Black Orchid now and the Doctor was in a bathrobe and he just went into the shower and he was singing. And now he's out again and his hair isn't the slightest bit wet.)

Quotes:
"An apple a day keeps the, ah... no, nevermind."
"If in doubt, then fire and acid every time, don't you think?"
"Don't hurt him!" "Why not?" "...don't." "Oh, alright."
"Leave him at the mercy of the trees." "No, the trees have no mercy." "Oh yes, I forgot."
"What about Adric?" "He'll be alright, he's very resourceful."

The Talons of Weng Chiang

Ok, the whole Cybermen thing was't working out. The last one was a reconstruction, the Invasion is animated, I'm gonna go back to the list of best episodes idea. So the Talons of Weng Chiang it is. Back to the good old Fourth Doctor!

I get this feeling like we're gonna be hearing the term "chinaman" a lot here. Ick, it's about a ventriloquist dummy. And I already have the feeling it's a Devil Doll kind of turning-people-into-dummies thing. So... this (not entirely authentic looking) Chinese dude levitated this guy's wife last week, she hasn't been the same since, she wandered into his dressing room last night, and she hasn't been seen since. And his ventriloquist dummy moved on its own.

Who the hell is that?! Dunno that I like new companions. I think this is a companion from the past, as well. Oh, no. He just said mentioned her ancestors. Wow, the Doctor is an action hero! And so's his companion! They just took on some fucking ninjas!

Hm... I don't know about the Doctor's Chinese. But he does look pretty bad ass dressed up like Sherlock Holmes.

Quotes:
"I'd have propelled him onto the pavement with a punt of the posterior."
"Li H'sen Chang. Hm, pity. I'd rather hoped we'd catch a little tit. Nevermind." (?!)

The Wheel in Space

Onto the next. This here's the last story of season 5. Fun stuff. This time I'm just going to largely sit back and only do quotes or really, REALLY interesting things. WAIT. NO. RECONSTRUCTION. I REFUSE. NOT NOW. LATER. NEVER. WHEN I'M DRUNK OR SOMETHING. Aw, damn. Ok, next!

Doctor Who Comic Relief

Ok, this is hilarious. Rowan Atkinson. I can't even describe what's going on, but I think this is a necessary part of Doctor Who history. No point in telling you what this is about, but the Master just fell into the largest sewers in the cosmos for the third time (they take 312 years to escape). Anyway, that's enough. Rowan Atkinson is 9, Richard E. Grant is 10, and Jim Broadbent is 11, and Hugh Grant is 12, and 13 I'll leave as a surprise.

Quotes:
"Given that exterminating you would be the most reasonable thing to do, why do they always change their minds at the last minute?" "I'll explain later."
"Why do you have chairs on a Dalek ship anyway?" "WE WILL EXPLAIN LATER."
"You fools, the sectronic beam controller will now not only explode, but it will also implode!"

Tomb of the Cybermen

The Doctor just said first that he perfected time/space travel, then that he was 450. Maybe he was oversimplifying. So he's got this new companion, Victoria, who happens to be from the Victorian era, who was introduced as a prisoner on Skaro or some such nonsense, so I imagine I'll understand her more when I go back and do all the Dalek episodes (skipping ones I've already seen).

Eww, more Americans. Ok, wow. That was a hilarious piece of post-production. I'll see if I can get you the sound clip. I like Pat. Oh my god... Jamie is wearing a kilt. When the hell did he take him from?

Wait, that guy just said Telos was the Cybermen's home. Holy... the one black guy is mute and SOMEONE'S SERVANT. I'm on edge. Anyway, what is the Telos place? Ok, looking it up on tardis.wikia.com apparently they colonized. Lol, the Doctor took Jamie's hand by mistake. Hee hee. Oh, he took Jamie from 1746. Ok, I understand the kilt.

Yeah, the black guy still hasn't said anything. At least Victoria is sticking up for herself. Ah, Jamie sees this thing and immediately calls it a caterpillar: here.

Victoria got trapped in a Cyberman casket and Jamie has discovered a giant hypnotizing wall. And out stepped a Cyberman when they tried to figure out what it was for! What a surprise. And it killed someone. How shocking. Wait, what do you mean the building is deadly? When did the Cyberman leave? It was just sitting right there, but the guy was shot in the back... hmm... Oh, the Cyberman was just a model. The thing that shot was a big block thing. And the "caterpillar" is a "cybermat". Oh, the black guy spoke! And he spoke like... I can't describe it.

Ugh, this American is a lot less awful than the ones in the Tenth Planet, but he's pretty bad. Ah! They opened the giant coffee cup! Go Victoria! She doesn't want to be left up in the safety because she's a girl, even though the guys insist. But the Doctor does point out that someone needs to keep an eye on the creepy evil lady. Uh oh, evil lady just slipped something in Vicky's drink. And she drank it! The fool. They didn't have spiked drinks in the 1800s?

Gee, everybody's fumbling their lines. Aw, what a creep! That guy said he was trying to open the door but he was actually unmelting the tomb of the Cybermen. And look at that, they all woke up! What a shocker. And the creep just shot someone. And unmelted another tomb. Crazy lunatic. "It would be a pity to miss it"? Like getting hit by a train is an experience it would be a pity to miss? Uh oh, the cybermouse is coming alive.

Slug her, Victoria! Aw, she should have punched her out before she got the gun out. Just smash her right in the jaw and search her. Oh, that poor actor in the Cyberman outfit. That doesn't look like too big a bundle of laughs. Well, the cybermouse took care of the evil lady pretty well it seems. Good cybermouse.

Uh... the Cyberleader looks like he's got half an egg on his head. Ooh, the Cyberman voice is much much better now. Well, less stupid, anyway. And less human.

Aaannnd.... the black guy is the first to go. Hm, the Doctor was sleeping just now.

Alright, can't say I know quite what's going on exactly, since it's been several days between the last sentence and this one. I'll let you know if anything interesting happens. The Cybermen are very easily confused, it seems. D'aw, the Cybermice are kind of cute. And so's Patrick, really. Hm, that little monologue about remembering his family when he wants to. That kind of implies they're all... dead, I guess, since he's comparing himself to Vicky's, whose father is actually dead I believe. I suppose they were just a little unclear about the Time Lord mythology at this time.

Last lines"
Jamie: So that really is the end of the Cybermen?
Doctor: Yes Jamie. On the other hand, I never like to make predictions.


Quotes:
"Try to give us a smooth takeoff Doctor, we don't want to frighten her." "A smooth takeoff? A smooth takeoff?! What a nerve!"
"Look at him. 'Archaeologist' written all over him."
"You look lovely in that dress." "Don't you think it's a bit...?" "A bit short? Oh I shouldn't worry about that, look at Jamie's!"
"There is a distinct element of risk in what I'm asking you all to do, so if anyone wishes to leave they must do so at once. Not you, Jamie."
"Let the Doctor pass or I'll... yes, well, let the Doctor pass."

The Moonbase

Ok, second Cybermen episode. My first Patrick Troughton. Dunno who the companions are or what's going on or any of that. Oh, look at that! Hey, wait... oh, ok. Wrong video. I was wondering why it was seeming to start on episode 2. Still no idea what's going on, though. And this doesn't seem to be video, just images... oh shit. Not again. That's a major flaw with old episodes. Lol, they just congratulated the Doctor for landing the TARDIS where he said he would. Like, good job not completely fucking up! And he's got a new Scottish companion. Polly and Ben are still here, plus this Scottish chap. He sounds a bit like a caricature of a Scottish dude. I think he's a new companion, as well, since he seems bewildered at the idea of being on the moon, since the moon is "up in the sky".

Ok, this is bordering on unwatchable. Oh, the Scottish bloke is this Jamie I've heard so much about. I might just give up at some point and read a synopsis and move on to the next one. That is becoming increasingly likely. In fact, that is what I will do. Maybe I'll add to this post when I read a synopsis.

The Pandorica Opens (SPOILERS - highlight to read)

The Daleks can't die. Listen, I know they're cool enemies, and I know everyone loves them, but they have to be destructible at some point.

Rory!!! He's here! And the music is so sweet and tender! This is ridiculous. Everyone. Everyone ever from every episode is coming back. Every enemy everywhere. It felt epic in Stolen Earth and Journey's End, now it just feels a little old hat. Sontarans, Zygons, Daleks, Cybermen, Slitheens, the star thing from Christmas, everybody. Oh for heaven's sake. So the Doctor is a rock star now? This is just silly. I'm sorry, but it's just silly. Ok, so it's a little epic. Ok, so it's epic. But it's still over the top.

Wait, so the TARDIS exploding destroys the universe? It's just a type 40 TARDIS, I'm sure they explode occasionally. I mean in the entirety of Time Lord history a TARDIS has never exploded? Ah, whatever.

Ok, so the timey-wimey stuff is pretty cool. Oh, man! So everything revolves around Amy! It's all about Amy, and that's why the crack was in her bedroom wall, and the Doctor crashed at her house when he was regenerating..

That's Torgo's theme. It's Torgo's theme! They're playing Torgo's theme! Why are they playing Torgo's theme!

Ah, and yeah, this is all a creation of Amy's memories. It went to Amy's house and took her memories and hid the Pandorica in there. Someone was trying to lure the Doctor? What do they want him for? Who wants him? Who is that voice? Is that a sound byte from an earlier episode or is that Davros? It sounds a bit like him, but then I guess all the badguys sound pretty similar.

The Romans are Autons, whatever else is happening. Oh for heaven's sake. It's the Daleks. But they're not a surprise because we already heard them and knew they were here. So there has to be somebody else. Somebody else is organizing this, having all his enemies work together, unless the enemy bit is his memories projected like Amy's are.

Lol, that was the thing from Love and Monsters.

Wait, why is this happening??? What's going on? Who is doing this? Someone has to be organizing all this. Ooh!!! They said "The Doctor is the only one who can pilot the TARDIS" but someone else was controlling it, and it was River who blew it up. And the Daleks have tried to destroy all of creation in the past, what do they care?

So... all of creation was just destroyed... what... can we do? I mean, what happens now?

Ok, so the Pandorica was created to trap the Doctor so he wouldn't destroy the universe, but the reason the universe was destroyed was because River... blew up the TARDIS? I think that's what she was doing? But then maybe it was the guy who kept saying "Silence must fall", at least it was because of him. So I think the real villain has yet to be revealed. I can't wait for next week!!!!!