The Mutants

Mist. A panting man.
Scottish people are shouting.
His back is lumpy.

It's a haiku! That guy just did one hell of a line-read. I think that other guy just said "mutt found dead" but it sounded like "mutt farm dead". I find that amusing.

Look, the Doctor is using a normal screwdriver. How does he know all this stuff just from looking at stuff? He doesn't even stop to think. And I thought Jo was hungry? Why does she just go jaunting off to some unknown destination to deliver what the Doctor is pretty sure is some kind of container to someone who they don't know who it is?

Um, what? They always make the establishment of the alien society very confusing. Ok, you guys clearly aren't the ones being received as guests, you materialized in a broom cupboard. HOLY GOD, THAT'S.... THAT'S.... I don't know who that is. He looks a LOT like someone, I just can't remember who...

Yeesh, that guy is back. It might be his accent, but honestly he's having trouble getting those lines out. Uh... no, really, what's going on?

The Time Lords seem to regard the Doctor as a pretty reliable agent, considering WOAH THAT GUY'S BEEN IN ANOTHER EPISODE... WHO WAS HE... I RECOGNIZE HIM... I'mma look it up. Ok, it's Geoffrey Palmer, and he was in Voyage of the Damned, apparently! As well as Doctor Who and the Silurians. Also, apparently there are a number of reused actors in this serial. I dunno, he seems familiar from a different serial.

This Faron guy sure is an actor, you betcha. And he's turning into a mutant! Oh no! He's being called to the place of darkness and light that I thought was Jo being influenced by hallucinogenic gasses. Oh no! The grenades went off! Stubbs! LIVE DAMN YOU! Dude, Dailymotion has taken a renewed liking to me. The ads have slowed to a trickle and nearly every part starts right away without moaning about stream errors.

That was an oddly muddled exchange for a TV show. GASP! It's... a... bald guy. Oh, he's the Earth guy who came to learn about the culture and can probably read the strange markings on the thing that was in the container.

The Doctor is so great. He's like Sherlock Holmes, he has to know the answer even if it endangers his life. Actually knowing this answer will probably be practically useful. Guys are always touching Jo, it's upsetting. Hey! I came up with the seasons thing! I thought of that! That's the answer! I thought it was probably seasons, because Spring is just now turning to Summer as we recently learned. One of the tablets indicated radiation... Ok, I have no idea what they're talking about. Whatever.

Uh, ok, so the Doctor took some... thing, a rock or something out of a statue thing in the place of light and darkness and now he's bringing it back. Ok, Faron is crazy and very annoying.

Ok, so in the end the mutants were a halfway form that needed the special crystal thing to become rainbowy ascended beings that can move through walls and do anything. Neat.

The Sea Devils

Starting this entry quite a ways into the episode, but I just had to comment on the always delightful chemistry between Jon Pertwee and Roger Delgado. Delgado represents, in my opinion, who the Master is supposed to be, and his relationship with the Doctor is what their relationship is supposed to be. His weapon is people - he hypnotises or simply manipulates people and tries to take over the world from behind the scenes, or by being incredibly clever and building things (like the Keller machine). He's sinister and official, an "executive villain" as I've called him before, he likes disguises but not as much as the Ainley Master does. He likes trying to get the Doctor to help him because he knows the Doctor is clever, and seems to quickly forget that the Doctor might have any reason to sabotage him. I think they're at their best when they're working together, like in the Claws of Axos or in this episode when they're building the... thing that they're building. He's almost always one step ahead, very smug, very sure of himself, and probably wishes the Doctor would agree to be his partner in crime. But barring that, he seems genuinely willing to kill him if it became convenient. He's only as camp as the rest of the show (the Doctor does Venusian aikido in almost every episode) and he looks ridiculous when doing any kind of vaguely physical activity beyond standing and walking.

Also, what the fuck are the Silurians wearing? They've got, like, mesh medical gowns with belts on. They'd look ridiculous even if they're heads weren't twice as tall as the head of something otherwise proportioned like a human should be. You have to feel bad for the Silurians, though, they just want they're planet back. Why they waited several million years after going into hibernation to try coming back to the surface is a mystery, but the fact remains they have no place to live.

Jo should really consider an alternative means of carrying her possessions. A purse just isn't practical in the situations she finds herself in.

Also, JESUS what is the sound editor/composer's obsession with horrible sounds?! 90% of the non-dialogue noise in old episodes is horrible squealing or trumpeting or screeching or feedback sounds or bizarre digital chirping. It's nigh on unbearable. And the Master just realized the Doctor may have sabotaged his little project. "What happened? What could possibly have gone wrong?" Oh, they do touch each other quite a lot, don't they? Did he just refer to what just happened as "teething problems"? What does that mean? You know, the Master is pretty reluctant to kill the Doctor actually. The Silurians just asked if they should kill the Doctor now and the Master's "No" sounded a bit too quick. But maybe that's just me. Man, it would suck to be an extra dressed up in one of those big rubber alien getups.

Gah! Don't point that tank at me!

Whee, jetskiing in England! Looks cold and miserable.

Doctor: Before I reactivated it, I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.
Master: You did what?!

Wow, the Doctor didn't really want to help? What an incredible surprise! I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die from that surprise. Um, wow, the Master does seem to be actually having a heart(s) attack. Did I miss something? Is he okay? Was it the shock? Does he need a blanket? Aw, poor guy. Dun dun dun!!! At some point the Master switched with some guy he'd hypnotized. Poor guy.

Terror of the Autons

I'm going through the Master episodes in order now, nominally to make a fanvid showing the Doctor and the Master through the years, but also because I want to see him from start to finish. Meaning I'll probably watch the new ones again. This is a Jon Pertwee episode. He starts off by singing. First thing he does in this episode. He's so cute.

Ok, so the Master materializes his TARDIS and it's in the shape of, like, a mobile home. Strangely out of character I'd say. Delgado is hilarious already. Well. We've just been introduced to Jo Grant. She's got weird hair and she's a bit irritating. The Nestene's energy unit has been taken out of UNIT! And the Doctor is appalled. And someone's stolen it. And it's obviously the Master, whose first act, I might add, was hypnotizing a fairground owner. He's wearing, like, a black turtleneck of some description. Let's see how the first meeting of the Doctor and the Master goes. Did that man just say "Oh, and talking of eggs..."? They weren't talking of eggs, were they? Oh, that dude's lunch I guess. Was that the TCE the Master just used? Oh, him and his gloves. What a silly billy.

Huh. Wonder what's going on. The Master is an odd villain, I have to say. D'aww, Three is so cute! He's all fussy and adorable. And he can't bare to sack Jo himself, aww, so he's not allowed to sack her all. He's so cute. Um, who is this Time Lord dressed as Charlie Chaplin? Tee hee! The Doctor just called the Master a jackanapes. What the...?! Is that guy's suit his TARDIS or something???

I swear to god the Doctor just answered the question of "What's that?" with the phrase "A bong."

"This has special properties" - he tosses it onto the ground with a *thump* and a bass riff starts up and it slowly morphs into a chair. "It plays the bass and it turns into furniture." Lol, ah, good old BBC special effects.

"He sat down in this chair he and slipped away"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Who accepts that as an explanation for somebody's death?

Ok, Delgado Master is really rucking weird. OH JESUS CHRIST I'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN DEAR GOD IT'S AWUL. Anyway. Ah, the good old days when cruelty to animals was considered acceptable entertainment. And when you could have silent beefy black guys in leopard skins walking around and no one lifted an eyebrow.

Ah, the Master's TARDIS is a horsebox, apparently.

Left off about half-way through again, posted for posterity.

Quotes:
Fat Guy: His name's none of your business.
Doctor: Hm. That's a strange name.

Spearhead From Space

Figured I check out the Third Doctor for a change. I've only seen him in the Five Doctors so far, so I'd like to really see him in action. Also I think this episode has the Brigadier in is, which is funny 'cause I just saw him old and now I'll see him young again. Let's see how this goes.

I just got the "Who's Elizabeth Shore" comment from the beginning of Battlefield when the Doctor gives Ace a fake ID. She's introduced in this episode. Also, every new Doctor is made to complain about what he looks like during their first episode. They look in the mirror and go "Oh, I'm hideous! Look at my horrible face! And this hair!" It's a bit cruel. But funny, of course. Oh, John Pertwee is being adorable. I didn't know he did that. Cuddling his shoes like that. I like recently-regenerated crazy Doctor. And oh my god. It's a wheelchair chase.

Alright, now the Doctor's been shot (I think), and he intentionally went into a kind of super-coma. I think this is probably what Romana did in Destiny of the Daleks when she had to pretend she was dead to get out of the mines. Only a real medical investigation could reveal he was alive, so Romana would probably get away with it. Somehow he thought his TARDIS key would be safe in his fist, though. Luckily it was picked up by UNIT people and not anyone more destructive.

Anyway, now it looks like aliens have invaded and taken over a doll factory. Alright. And Elizabeth Shore says the "meteorite" thing is artificial. Well, seeing as it had a plastic casing and was glowing all different colours and making computer noises, I think that's likely. And WOAH! There's a walking mannequin! Spooky.

WAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! WHY????? WHY????? Ok, not that horrible, I guess. But it IS John Pertwee taking a shower, not necessarily wearing any bottoms... though it's tough to tell. WOAH! Does he have a tattoo??? Crazy! That was an... interesting scene. Ah, and he just found his Third Doctor outfit in a hospital dressing room. Nothing's changed, I guess. Heh, he just stole a car. He's like Katherine Hepburn.

Ooohhh... it wasn't the TARDIS key. I wonder where it is?

Oh, man! Looking ahead, Third Doctor episodes are massive! Like seven parts each! I think I might either skip to some short ones or check out Patrick Troughton, or go back to some nice comfortable Tom Baker. Terror of the Zygons looks good.

Ah, no, it was the TARDIS key, it just doesn't work when anyone but the Doctor uses it.

Hey, wait a minute... that's not a dog... that's just a guy making dog noises! I'm sure of it! The BBC couldn't even afford a dog? Times must have been tough indeed.

Mmm, Autons. A plastic brain falls from the sky and takes over mannequins so it can walk around and kill things. Something like that. The motivation is a bit unclear. Oh, ha, the guy who's now an Auton but nobody knows it is made of plastic so he's all shiny but it just looks like he's really sweaty.

Aaahhh... and at the end, he calls himself John Smith, I think for the first time. I suppose I'll find out when I've watched all of One and Two. Ok, so that episode was perfectly fine. Not the most exciting or engaging, but fine. Hmm... what next? I'm not tiring of this at all, you know.