I'm going through the Master episodes in order now, nominally to make a fanvid showing the Doctor and the Master through the years, but also because I want to see him from start to finish. Meaning I'll probably watch the new ones again. This is a Jon Pertwee episode. He starts off by singing. First thing he does in this episode. He's so cute.
Ok, so the Master materializes his TARDIS and it's in the shape of, like, a mobile home. Strangely out of character I'd say. Delgado is hilarious already. Well. We've just been introduced to Jo Grant. She's got weird hair and she's a bit irritating. The Nestene's energy unit has been taken out of UNIT! And the Doctor is appalled. And someone's stolen it. And it's obviously the Master, whose first act, I might add, was hypnotizing a fairground owner. He's wearing, like, a black turtleneck of some description. Let's see how the first meeting of the Doctor and the Master goes. Did that man just say "Oh, and talking of eggs..."? They weren't talking of eggs, were they? Oh, that dude's lunch I guess. Was that the TCE the Master just used? Oh, him and his gloves. What a silly billy.
Huh. Wonder what's going on. The Master is an odd villain, I have to say. D'aww, Three is so cute! He's all fussy and adorable. And he can't bare to sack Jo himself, aww, so he's not allowed to sack her all. He's so cute. Um, who is this Time Lord dressed as Charlie Chaplin? Tee hee! The Doctor just called the Master a jackanapes. What the...?! Is that guy's suit his TARDIS or something???
I swear to god the Doctor just answered the question of "What's that?" with the phrase "A bong."
"This has special properties" - he tosses it onto the ground with a *thump* and a bass riff starts up and it slowly morphs into a chair. "It plays the bass and it turns into furniture." Lol, ah, good old BBC special effects.
"He sat down in this chair he and slipped away"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Who accepts that as an explanation for somebody's death?
Ok, Delgado Master is really rucking weird. OH JESUS CHRIST I'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN DEAR GOD IT'S AWUL. Anyway. Ah, the good old days when cruelty to animals was considered acceptable entertainment. And when you could have silent beefy black guys in leopard skins walking around and no one lifted an eyebrow.
Ah, the Master's TARDIS is a horsebox, apparently.
Left off about half-way through again, posted for posterity.
Quotes:
Fat Guy: His name's none of your business.
Doctor: Hm. That's a strange name.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Survival
KITTIES!!!!! KITTIES KITTIES KITTIES KITTIES KITTIES!!!!!!! KITTIES EVERYWHERE!!! I LOVE KITTIES!!! THE MASTER HOLDING A KITTY!!! ACE HOLDING A KITTY!! KITTIES ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway. This is the episode where the Master is turning into a cheetah person for some reason and there are kitties. There are also people in cheetah suits, they're not as adorable. The Master is getting this beautiful black kitty to teleport people to this barren wasteland of the Cheetah People who then eat the people teleported there, but only if you try to run away from them. They like to play with their food (they are cats, after all). Anyway, I'm reading this fic that goes very deep into the history between the Doctor and the Master and that makes watching this episode all the more interesting.
Oh, um, also? This is the last episode of the classic series. Maybe I shouldn't be watching it... maybe I really should save it for last. But I don't think it acts like the last episode of the classic series, so it won't feel like premature closure, right? Who knows. I'm enjoying it so I'll keep watching.
Well, I finished it. I probably shouldn't have, but I did. The Master was turning into a Cheetah person (whose fucking idea was that?) and some other stuff happened, and there were some great Doctor/Master moments. But the ending line to end all ending lines - as the Doctor and Ace walk off into the fucking sunset:
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning. Where the seas sleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke, and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice. Somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
Anyway. This is the episode where the Master is turning into a cheetah person for some reason and there are kitties. There are also people in cheetah suits, they're not as adorable. The Master is getting this beautiful black kitty to teleport people to this barren wasteland of the Cheetah People who then eat the people teleported there, but only if you try to run away from them. They like to play with their food (they are cats, after all). Anyway, I'm reading this fic that goes very deep into the history between the Doctor and the Master and that makes watching this episode all the more interesting.
Oh, um, also? This is the last episode of the classic series. Maybe I shouldn't be watching it... maybe I really should save it for last. But I don't think it acts like the last episode of the classic series, so it won't feel like premature closure, right? Who knows. I'm enjoying it so I'll keep watching.
Well, I finished it. I probably shouldn't have, but I did. The Master was turning into a Cheetah person (whose fucking idea was that?) and some other stuff happened, and there were some great Doctor/Master moments. But the ending line to end all ending lines - as the Doctor and Ace walk off into the fucking sunset:
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning. Where the seas sleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke, and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice. Somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Twin Dilemma
Wow, the 6th Doctor is a prick. No, really, he is. Not only is he the first and only (to my knowledge) Doctor to see his reflection for the first time and be delighted by what he sees, he also thinks he's an improvement on Five! What a nerve! Peri says she's sad because the last him was sweet and he goes "Sweet? Sweet?! That says it all." Also, he sees his awful coat and is immediately entranced. I knew he was a prick from the first moment he sat up and was rude to Peri after she'd just seen her friend die. Good lord he's awful. And Peri knows it. She sees his outfit and goes "You can't go out dressed like that!"
WOAH HOLY FUCK that one alien is definitely Barf's dad. This is weird. That old guy just brainwashed and abducted these two little kids who are twins and dangerously brilliant. Oh good lord, is he making that harpsichord music?? I hope not. Hmm, perhaps his regeneration (or the TARDIS?) is directing him to this new adventure. He wanted to go to the Eye of Orion but he forgot the coordinates. Or maybe he's just crazy... he thinks Peri is an alien spy and he's trying to strangle her. And now he's doing that fetal position crying thing again. I can see what the director meant when he recommended that Colin Baker tone it the fuck down. He is overwhelming. One episode at a time, I swear. Four next. I miss a good Doctor.
Oh. What a shock. Something is going wrong with his regeneration. Three, Five, Six, Seven, Ten, all had more than the expected confusion. God, Six is like a nightmare combination of One and Seven, plus Mr. Miller and someone obsessed with overcompensation. And now he's trying to fucking kidnap Peri and make her live with him as a hermit because of some kind of cosmic guilt he's feeling. I challenge anyone to be eager to travel with this dickweed.
And this beetle/gorilla sounds like he has a cold and is really angry about it and is having to shout through a wall. Ok, this is the Doctor really endangering people, and for no fucking reason this time. I'm really upset about this idiot being the Doctor. I'm glad he's not him for very long. GOD WILL HE EVER SHUT UP??? I HATE THIS BASTARD!! I REFUSE TO WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE. I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF NO SCRATCH THAT I'LL SLAUGHTER COLIN BAKER HOW DARE HE MAKE THE DOCTOR SUCH A PRICK. He must be the failed prototype of Seven. They wanted someone who talked funny and was a thespian and didn't abide disinterest, so they invented Six. Then they realized their horrible mistake and fixed him up before Sylvester McCoy came around. Oh for fuck's sake, TONE IT DOWN, BAKER. At least Peri hates the fucker too. I can hardly stand this. I thought maybe, just maybe his first couple seconds really weren't indicative. They sometimes aren't, they haven't written the character yet and the actor hasn't made his decisions yet. But this time they were. They really were. Those first few seconds showed him as a prick, and indeed he is one. I don't even care what's going on in this episode. I mean, I care about the little kids, but I really wish the Doctor weren't the one saving them. I almost want him to fail just so I can see him fail, even if the kids become casualties of his failure.
Ah! Peri thinks the Doctor has died. It's a cliffhanger and he definitely isn't dead, but I'll believe he is and go watch another episode. Hooray!
WOAH HOLY FUCK that one alien is definitely Barf's dad. This is weird. That old guy just brainwashed and abducted these two little kids who are twins and dangerously brilliant. Oh good lord, is he making that harpsichord music?? I hope not. Hmm, perhaps his regeneration (or the TARDIS?) is directing him to this new adventure. He wanted to go to the Eye of Orion but he forgot the coordinates. Or maybe he's just crazy... he thinks Peri is an alien spy and he's trying to strangle her. And now he's doing that fetal position crying thing again. I can see what the director meant when he recommended that Colin Baker tone it the fuck down. He is overwhelming. One episode at a time, I swear. Four next. I miss a good Doctor.
Oh. What a shock. Something is going wrong with his regeneration. Three, Five, Six, Seven, Ten, all had more than the expected confusion. God, Six is like a nightmare combination of One and Seven, plus Mr. Miller and someone obsessed with overcompensation. And now he's trying to fucking kidnap Peri and make her live with him as a hermit because of some kind of cosmic guilt he's feeling. I challenge anyone to be eager to travel with this dickweed.
And this beetle/gorilla sounds like he has a cold and is really angry about it and is having to shout through a wall. Ok, this is the Doctor really endangering people, and for no fucking reason this time. I'm really upset about this idiot being the Doctor. I'm glad he's not him for very long. GOD WILL HE EVER SHUT UP??? I HATE THIS BASTARD!! I REFUSE TO WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE. I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF NO SCRATCH THAT I'LL SLAUGHTER COLIN BAKER HOW DARE HE MAKE THE DOCTOR SUCH A PRICK. He must be the failed prototype of Seven. They wanted someone who talked funny and was a thespian and didn't abide disinterest, so they invented Six. Then they realized their horrible mistake and fixed him up before Sylvester McCoy came around. Oh for fuck's sake, TONE IT DOWN, BAKER. At least Peri hates the fucker too. I can hardly stand this. I thought maybe, just maybe his first couple seconds really weren't indicative. They sometimes aren't, they haven't written the character yet and the actor hasn't made his decisions yet. But this time they were. They really were. Those first few seconds showed him as a prick, and indeed he is one. I don't even care what's going on in this episode. I mean, I care about the little kids, but I really wish the Doctor weren't the one saving them. I almost want him to fail just so I can see him fail, even if the kids become casualties of his failure.
Ah! Peri thinks the Doctor has died. It's a cliffhanger and he definitely isn't dead, but I'll believe he is and go watch another episode. Hooray!
Friday, August 20, 2010
The Deadly Assassin
Supremely confused. The Doctor is on Gallifrey, on the way he had a premonition of himself shooting the Lord President then when he gets there he tries to warn everyone but... they are mad at him... they want to detain him? He's disguising himself as someone with a crimson robe, he seems to be wearing a white T-shirt underneath it! Well, now we know a bit about the Doctor's underthings. Ok, and the Castellan thinks there's a conspiracy against the Lord President but can't convince him it's serious. Someone in black knocked out a guy on a balcony and is aiming a rifle at where the Lord President is going to come out, but right now he's got the Doctor in his sights and he's making weird talking noises.
Gallifrey has local news channels, by the way. PR videocast. Ok, Time Lords wear awfully weird clothes. Those neck things that stick up above their heads are very strange. The Doctor is very worried. Oh, the guy who got knocked out was a camera technician for the PR videocast. The Doctor realizes what's happened and dashes up to the balcony. I'm only doing a play-by-play so I have any idea what the fuck is going on. Ok, now the Doctor is standing by the camera, watching the proceedings from there, and there was no one up there when he get there. Um, now he's taking aim and he just shot the Lord President. Um, why did he do that? I hope this is one of those Doctor Who things where they just kind of go along without letting you know what the fuck is happening but you figure it out by the end.
Oh, wait, I think there was someone in the crowd with a pistol, and Doctor was aiming at them, but the guy with the pistol shot first, so it looked like the Doctor shot him. If they have any kind of forensic science they can easily prove that the rifle wasn't the gun that killed him. They're Time Lords for fuck's sake. Was the Lord President on his 13th body? Must have been. Huh, not the most democratic process. The President names a successor, and if he doesn't or can't they vote.
Waauuugghhh!!! More Doctor whumping!! Sadface!!!! He's torturing him for a confession. Um, by "hot and cold technique" does he mean "good cop bad cop"? Argh, vaporization without representation is against the constitution. They're ignoring the law because they don't like him. The Castellan has a weird accent. Like really, I mean it, it's really weird. Gee, there's something very wrong with Time Lord society. People are giving their testimony... to the Doctor? Isn't he on trial? He's not taking minutes, he's drawing a Time Lord. And he knows the law very well. He's submitting himself to be considered for president. It gets him off the hook while he's a candidate. But being the president would be awful torture for him.
LOOK! IT'S THE MASTER! LOOK AT HIM! HE'S ALL GROSS AND FALLING APART!!! Hmm, "Only hate keeps me alive... I must see the Doctor die with shame and dishonour. And I must destroy the Time Lords. Nothing else matters. Nothing." Oh, he's not crazy at all.
Ah, now the Doctor has realized the Master is behind it. Oh, the Time Lords are so convinced that their little system of record-keeping is so flawless it can't be manipulated. Stupid old men. Wow, the Doctor is telling them their technology is primitive rubbish, child's play to people like him and the Master.
Ok, what the fuck is going on? I mean really, what the fuck? He's in the computational matrix, which manifests itself as the worst fucking trip you ever had.
Again, I stopped before the end of episode. Posted for posterity.
Quotes:
Castellan: What is the Master like on mathematics?
Doctor: He's brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Almost up to my standard.
Gallifrey has local news channels, by the way. PR videocast. Ok, Time Lords wear awfully weird clothes. Those neck things that stick up above their heads are very strange. The Doctor is very worried. Oh, the guy who got knocked out was a camera technician for the PR videocast. The Doctor realizes what's happened and dashes up to the balcony. I'm only doing a play-by-play so I have any idea what the fuck is going on. Ok, now the Doctor is standing by the camera, watching the proceedings from there, and there was no one up there when he get there. Um, now he's taking aim and he just shot the Lord President. Um, why did he do that? I hope this is one of those Doctor Who things where they just kind of go along without letting you know what the fuck is happening but you figure it out by the end.
Oh, wait, I think there was someone in the crowd with a pistol, and Doctor was aiming at them, but the guy with the pistol shot first, so it looked like the Doctor shot him. If they have any kind of forensic science they can easily prove that the rifle wasn't the gun that killed him. They're Time Lords for fuck's sake. Was the Lord President on his 13th body? Must have been. Huh, not the most democratic process. The President names a successor, and if he doesn't or can't they vote.
Waauuugghhh!!! More Doctor whumping!! Sadface!!!! He's torturing him for a confession. Um, by "hot and cold technique" does he mean "good cop bad cop"? Argh, vaporization without representation is against the constitution. They're ignoring the law because they don't like him. The Castellan has a weird accent. Like really, I mean it, it's really weird. Gee, there's something very wrong with Time Lord society. People are giving their testimony... to the Doctor? Isn't he on trial? He's not taking minutes, he's drawing a Time Lord. And he knows the law very well. He's submitting himself to be considered for president. It gets him off the hook while he's a candidate. But being the president would be awful torture for him.
LOOK! IT'S THE MASTER! LOOK AT HIM! HE'S ALL GROSS AND FALLING APART!!! Hmm, "Only hate keeps me alive... I must see the Doctor die with shame and dishonour. And I must destroy the Time Lords. Nothing else matters. Nothing." Oh, he's not crazy at all.
Ah, now the Doctor has realized the Master is behind it. Oh, the Time Lords are so convinced that their little system of record-keeping is so flawless it can't be manipulated. Stupid old men. Wow, the Doctor is telling them their technology is primitive rubbish, child's play to people like him and the Master.
Ok, what the fuck is going on? I mean really, what the fuck? He's in the computational matrix, which manifests itself as the worst fucking trip you ever had.
Again, I stopped before the end of episode. Posted for posterity.
Quotes:
Castellan: What is the Master like on mathematics?
Doctor: He's brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Almost up to my standard.
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