The Deadly Assassin

Supremely confused. The Doctor is on Gallifrey, on the way he had a premonition of himself shooting the Lord President then when he gets there he tries to warn everyone but... they are mad at him... they want to detain him? He's disguising himself as someone with a crimson robe, he seems to be wearing a white T-shirt underneath it! Well, now we know a bit about the Doctor's underthings. Ok, and the Castellan thinks there's a conspiracy against the Lord President but can't convince him it's serious. Someone in black knocked out a guy on a balcony and is aiming a rifle at where the Lord President is going to come out, but right now he's got the Doctor in his sights and he's making weird talking noises.

Gallifrey has local news channels, by the way. PR videocast. Ok, Time Lords wear awfully weird clothes. Those neck things that stick up above their heads are very strange. The Doctor is very worried. Oh, the guy who got knocked out was a camera technician for the PR videocast. The Doctor realizes what's happened and dashes up to the balcony. I'm only doing a play-by-play so I have any idea what the fuck is going on. Ok, now the Doctor is standing by the camera, watching the proceedings from there, and there was no one up there when he get there. Um, now he's taking aim and he just shot the Lord President. Um, why did he do that? I hope this is one of those Doctor Who things where they just kind of go along without letting you know what the fuck is happening but you figure it out by the end.

Oh, wait, I think there was someone in the crowd with a pistol, and Doctor was aiming at them, but the guy with the pistol shot first, so it looked like the Doctor shot him. If they have any kind of forensic science they can easily prove that the rifle wasn't the gun that killed him. They're Time Lords for fuck's sake. Was the Lord President on his 13th body? Must have been. Huh, not the most democratic process. The President names a successor, and if he doesn't or can't they vote.

Waauuugghhh!!! More Doctor whumping!! Sadface!!!! He's torturing him for a confession. Um, by "hot and cold technique" does he mean "good cop bad cop"? Argh, vaporization without representation is against the constitution. They're ignoring the law because they don't like him. The Castellan has a weird accent. Like really, I mean it, it's really weird. Gee, there's something very wrong with Time Lord society. People are giving their testimony... to the Doctor? Isn't he on trial? He's not taking minutes, he's drawing a Time Lord. And he knows the law very well. He's submitting himself to be considered for president. It gets him off the hook while he's a candidate. But being the president would be awful torture for him.

LOOK! IT'S THE MASTER! LOOK AT HIM! HE'S ALL GROSS AND FALLING APART!!! Hmm, "Only hate keeps me alive... I must see the Doctor die with shame and dishonour. And I must destroy the Time Lords. Nothing else matters. Nothing." Oh, he's not crazy at all.

Ah, now the Doctor has realized the Master is behind it. Oh, the Time Lords are so convinced that their little system of record-keeping is so flawless it can't be manipulated. Stupid old men. Wow, the Doctor is telling them their technology is primitive rubbish, child's play to people like him and the Master.

Ok, what the fuck is going on? I mean really, what the fuck? He's in the computational matrix, which manifests itself as the worst fucking trip you ever had.

Again, I stopped before the end of episode. Posted for posterity.

Quotes:
Castellan: What is the Master like on mathematics?
Doctor: He's brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Almost up to my standard.