Saturday, June 26, 2010

Kinda

I'm liking this one (I started this entry about 20 minutes in). It's neat. I like Five more and more each episode, and it's shaping up to be a good one. Tegan is having some kind of weird hallucination, and the Doctor and Adric have been taken prisoner. Apparently the woman who played Nyssa wasn't feeling well or was busy or something because she's resting in the TARDIS. And there's this neat woman who looks a bit like Sarah Jane. She's a scientist and she's the only reasonable one here. I think they like scientists, the Doctor Who people.

So they're on this paradise type planet inhabited by these people called the Kinda and they're pleasant and silent (they communicate with telepathy). These other people, including the scientist, are there on a mission to evaluate the planet for colonization. The Kinda are really primitive, but only because their planet calls for no technological adaptation. The temperature is constant, there are no predators, and the trees constantly bear fruit. Other than that I'm not really sure what the plot's gonna be. Oh, except that the expedition originally had six people and three disappeared.

What the? Who are these people? They're dressed differently and they're talking. They're worried about the Kinda because of the stupid off-world people.

Lol, that was wonderful. The Doctor is in wonder at Adric's magic trick. Then he tries it and totally fails. He's so funny. He just can't understand it. Cute. He learns all he needs to know about magic by the time he's Sylvester McCoy.

Woah, that guy just did a cool '70s disco slidey dance move! And said the phrase "higglety pigglety"! And "method of implementation, fire and acid. Acid and fire." My immediate thought? "Amongst our weaponry...!"

This guy is totally insane. He's sure the plants are out to get him. He wants to burn the whole damn planet because the trees are after him. Now Adric is agreeing with him, but no one can ever know if he's bluffing or not. He seems to do it all the time. Good thing he's reasonably intelligent. Oh, he's being a hero this time instead of a nuisance!

Ok, who the hell is that guy Tegan is hallucinating? What a trip, dude. Ew, what the??? That guy just took over Tegan's body by slithering a worm from his arm into hers in the hallucination! It's... difficult to explain.

Wow, this guy is definitely bonkers. This is fucking weird, dude. But I like it. Confusing as usual, but neat! Oh, good. Saunders is crazy-nutso too. Woah, Tegan is doing a really good job being super creepy and confident.

Ah, I think this is the defining moment when the Doctor decides to learn magic tricks. Good thing, too. Saves him from the Ragnarok later on.

You know, this old woman character looks like the grandmother/sister from that one MST3k episode where the girl says "This is where the fish lives". Ok, the jester is starting to get on my nerves. Will he never stop? Does he have some sort of mental illness?

Well, this guy definitely does. Now he's making paper dolls and talking more crazy.

Well, I stopped writing during the episode and just went ahead and finished it. I'm not tiring of the watching, but I am tiring of the writing.

(Just need to say, I'm watching Black Orchid now and the Doctor was in a bathrobe and he just went into the shower and he was singing. And now he's out again and his hair isn't the slightest bit wet.)

Quotes:
"An apple a day keeps the, ah... no, nevermind."
"If in doubt, then fire and acid every time, don't you think?"
"Don't hurt him!" "Why not?" "...don't." "Oh, alright."
"Leave him at the mercy of the trees." "No, the trees have no mercy." "Oh yes, I forgot."
"What about Adric?" "He'll be alright, he's very resourceful."

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Talons of Weng Chiang

Ok, the whole Cybermen thing was't working out. The last one was a reconstruction, the Invasion is animated, I'm gonna go back to the list of best episodes idea. So the Talons of Weng Chiang it is. Back to the good old Fourth Doctor!

I get this feeling like we're gonna be hearing the term "chinaman" a lot here. Ick, it's about a ventriloquist dummy. And I already have the feeling it's a Devil Doll kind of turning-people-into-dummies thing. So... this (not entirely authentic looking) Chinese dude levitated this guy's wife last week, she hasn't been the same since, she wandered into his dressing room last night, and she hasn't been seen since. And his ventriloquist dummy moved on its own.

Who the hell is that?! Dunno that I like new companions. I think this is a companion from the past, as well. Oh, no. He just said mentioned her ancestors. Wow, the Doctor is an action hero! And so's his companion! They just took on some fucking ninjas!

Hm... I don't know about the Doctor's Chinese. But he does look pretty bad ass dressed up like Sherlock Holmes.

Quotes:
"I'd have propelled him onto the pavement with a punt of the posterior."
"Li H'sen Chang. Hm, pity. I'd rather hoped we'd catch a little tit. Nevermind." (?!)

The Wheel in Space

Onto the next. This here's the last story of season 5. Fun stuff. This time I'm just going to largely sit back and only do quotes or really, REALLY interesting things. WAIT. NO. RECONSTRUCTION. I REFUSE. NOT NOW. LATER. NEVER. WHEN I'M DRUNK OR SOMETHING. Aw, damn. Ok, next!

Doctor Who Comic Relief

Ok, this is hilarious. Rowan Atkinson. I can't even describe what's going on, but I think this is a necessary part of Doctor Who history. No point in telling you what this is about, but the Master just fell into the largest sewers in the cosmos for the third time (they take 312 years to escape). Anyway, that's enough. Rowan Atkinson is 9, Richard E. Grant is 10, and Jim Broadbent is 11, and Hugh Grant is 12, and 13 I'll leave as a surprise.

Quotes:
"Given that exterminating you would be the most reasonable thing to do, why do they always change their minds at the last minute?" "I'll explain later."
"Why do you have chairs on a Dalek ship anyway?" "WE WILL EXPLAIN LATER."
"You fools, the sectronic beam controller will now not only explode, but it will also implode!"

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Tomb of the Cybermen

The Doctor just said first that he perfected time/space travel, then that he was 450. Maybe he was oversimplifying. So he's got this new companion, Victoria, who happens to be from the Victorian era, who was introduced as a prisoner on Skaro or some such nonsense, so I imagine I'll understand her more when I go back and do all the Dalek episodes (skipping ones I've already seen).

Eww, more Americans. Ok, wow. That was a hilarious piece of post-production. I'll see if I can get you the sound clip. I like Pat. Oh my god... Jamie is wearing a kilt. When the hell did he take him from?

Wait, that guy just said Telos was the Cybermen's home. Holy... the one black guy is mute and SOMEONE'S SERVANT. I'm on edge. Anyway, what is the Telos place? Ok, looking it up on tardis.wikia.com apparently they colonized. Lol, the Doctor took Jamie's hand by mistake. Hee hee. Oh, he took Jamie from 1746. Ok, I understand the kilt.

Yeah, the black guy still hasn't said anything. At least Victoria is sticking up for herself. Ah, Jamie sees this thing and immediately calls it a caterpillar: here.

Victoria got trapped in a Cyberman casket and Jamie has discovered a giant hypnotizing wall. And out stepped a Cyberman when they tried to figure out what it was for! What a surprise. And it killed someone. How shocking. Wait, what do you mean the building is deadly? When did the Cyberman leave? It was just sitting right there, but the guy was shot in the back... hmm... Oh, the Cyberman was just a model. The thing that shot was a big block thing. And the "caterpillar" is a "cybermat". Oh, the black guy spoke! And he spoke like... I can't describe it.

Ugh, this American is a lot less awful than the ones in the Tenth Planet, but he's pretty bad. Ah! They opened the giant coffee cup! Go Victoria! She doesn't want to be left up in the safety because she's a girl, even though the guys insist. But the Doctor does point out that someone needs to keep an eye on the creepy evil lady. Uh oh, evil lady just slipped something in Vicky's drink. And she drank it! The fool. They didn't have spiked drinks in the 1800s?

Gee, everybody's fumbling their lines. Aw, what a creep! That guy said he was trying to open the door but he was actually unmelting the tomb of the Cybermen. And look at that, they all woke up! What a shocker. And the creep just shot someone. And unmelted another tomb. Crazy lunatic. "It would be a pity to miss it"? Like getting hit by a train is an experience it would be a pity to miss? Uh oh, the cybermouse is coming alive.

Slug her, Victoria! Aw, she should have punched her out before she got the gun out. Just smash her right in the jaw and search her. Oh, that poor actor in the Cyberman outfit. That doesn't look like too big a bundle of laughs. Well, the cybermouse took care of the evil lady pretty well it seems. Good cybermouse.

Uh... the Cyberleader looks like he's got half an egg on his head. Ooh, the Cyberman voice is much much better now. Well, less stupid, anyway. And less human.

Aaannnd.... the black guy is the first to go. Hm, the Doctor was sleeping just now.

Alright, can't say I know quite what's going on exactly, since it's been several days between the last sentence and this one. I'll let you know if anything interesting happens. The Cybermen are very easily confused, it seems. D'aw, the Cybermice are kind of cute. And so's Patrick, really. Hm, that little monologue about remembering his family when he wants to. That kind of implies they're all... dead, I guess, since he's comparing himself to Vicky's, whose father is actually dead I believe. I suppose they were just a little unclear about the Time Lord mythology at this time.

Last lines"
Jamie: So that really is the end of the Cybermen?
Doctor: Yes Jamie. On the other hand, I never like to make predictions.


Quotes:
"Try to give us a smooth takeoff Doctor, we don't want to frighten her." "A smooth takeoff? A smooth takeoff?! What a nerve!"
"Look at him. 'Archaeologist' written all over him."
"You look lovely in that dress." "Don't you think it's a bit...?" "A bit short? Oh I shouldn't worry about that, look at Jamie's!"
"There is a distinct element of risk in what I'm asking you all to do, so if anyone wishes to leave they must do so at once. Not you, Jamie."
"Let the Doctor pass or I'll... yes, well, let the Doctor pass."

The Moonbase

Ok, second Cybermen episode. My first Patrick Troughton. Dunno who the companions are or what's going on or any of that. Oh, look at that! Hey, wait... oh, ok. Wrong video. I was wondering why it was seeming to start on episode 2. Still no idea what's going on, though. And this doesn't seem to be video, just images... oh shit. Not again. That's a major flaw with old episodes. Lol, they just congratulated the Doctor for landing the TARDIS where he said he would. Like, good job not completely fucking up! And he's got a new Scottish companion. Polly and Ben are still here, plus this Scottish chap. He sounds a bit like a caricature of a Scottish dude. I think he's a new companion, as well, since he seems bewildered at the idea of being on the moon, since the moon is "up in the sky".

Ok, this is bordering on unwatchable. Oh, the Scottish bloke is this Jamie I've heard so much about. I might just give up at some point and read a synopsis and move on to the next one. That is becoming increasingly likely. In fact, that is what I will do. Maybe I'll add to this post when I read a synopsis.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Pandorica Opens (SPOILERS - highlight to read)

The Daleks can't die. Listen, I know they're cool enemies, and I know everyone loves them, but they have to be destructible at some point.

Rory!!! He's here! And the music is so sweet and tender! This is ridiculous. Everyone. Everyone ever from every episode is coming back. Every enemy everywhere. It felt epic in Stolen Earth and Journey's End, now it just feels a little old hat. Sontarans, Zygons, Daleks, Cybermen, Slitheens, the star thing from Christmas, everybody. Oh for heaven's sake. So the Doctor is a rock star now? This is just silly. I'm sorry, but it's just silly. Ok, so it's a little epic. Ok, so it's epic. But it's still over the top.

Wait, so the TARDIS exploding destroys the universe? It's just a type 40 TARDIS, I'm sure they explode occasionally. I mean in the entirety of Time Lord history a TARDIS has never exploded? Ah, whatever.

Ok, so the timey-wimey stuff is pretty cool. Oh, man! So everything revolves around Amy! It's all about Amy, and that's why the crack was in her bedroom wall, and the Doctor crashed at her house when he was regenerating..

That's Torgo's theme. It's Torgo's theme! They're playing Torgo's theme! Why are they playing Torgo's theme!

Ah, and yeah, this is all a creation of Amy's memories. It went to Amy's house and took her memories and hid the Pandorica in there. Someone was trying to lure the Doctor? What do they want him for? Who wants him? Who is that voice? Is that a sound byte from an earlier episode or is that Davros? It sounds a bit like him, but then I guess all the badguys sound pretty similar.

The Romans are Autons, whatever else is happening. Oh for heaven's sake. It's the Daleks. But they're not a surprise because we already heard them and knew they were here. So there has to be somebody else. Somebody else is organizing this, having all his enemies work together, unless the enemy bit is his memories projected like Amy's are.

Lol, that was the thing from Love and Monsters.

Wait, why is this happening??? What's going on? Who is doing this? Someone has to be organizing all this. Ooh!!! They said "The Doctor is the only one who can pilot the TARDIS" but someone else was controlling it, and it was River who blew it up. And the Daleks have tried to destroy all of creation in the past, what do they care?

So... all of creation was just destroyed... what... can we do? I mean, what happens now?

Ok, so the Pandorica was created to trap the Doctor so he wouldn't destroy the universe, but the reason the universe was destroyed was because River... blew up the TARDIS? I think that's what she was doing? But then maybe it was the guy who kept saying "Silence must fall", at least it was because of him. So I think the real villain has yet to be revealed. I can't wait for next week!!!!!

The Tenth Planet

I've decided not to go through all those episodes listed on the site I mentioned before. I'll do that later. Right now I've decided to go back and watch every Cyberman story in order. That'll hit every Doctor I'm pretty sure, and I'll get to watch a lot of episodes I skipped because I wanted to understand the Cybermen fully before I watched them at all. So I'm starting with the Tenth Planet, the second story of season 4. It was broadcast in 1966 and was the last story with William Hartnell. Here we go!

This episode was never colourized. And that last part actually wasn't lost by being lent to Blue Peter, if you want to believe tardis.wikia.com (which you should!). No one knows how it was lost, and it was some other episode that was lent out. So, theme song sounds good, jokes seem awful, and EW I think there are Americans. Well, ok. I think they're meant to be... multicultural? I don't know, but I think that's a black guy.

Oh, yeah. That's an American right there. No question. D'aw, the Doctor is like a cantankerous but loving old grandfather. GROSS! GET RID OF THE AMERICANS!!! Ew, they're so disgusting. Alright, alright, the Doctor is funny. The Americans are shouting unnecessarily and the Doctor goes "Why don't you speak louder, I'm deaf" in this brilliant monotone.

OOH, DUDE! So, this was broadcast in 1966, and the episode is set in 1986, and they go "So have you got to the moon yet?" and the future people say "Of course!" And also it seems to the companions (I honestly don't know who they are yet) like there are very few people around, but then they realize that computers must do all the work. Doesn't look too outlandish, so fas as I can tell.

They just found a new planet between Mars and Venus, and one guy says it looked familiar... dun dun DUN!!! Something about a tenth planet. Nothing notable yet. In fact, this is what the space program could have been like if it had maintained the kind of funding it had in 1969. Yeesh, Ben is astoundingly Northern.

Here they come! The Cybermen have upsetting fleshy hands. Eugh. And the Doctor's smugness I think only works in '60s black and white. So this tenth planet looks exactly like Earth only upside down (very clearly, but they seem to have a hard time seeing it). Mondas is the name of the Cybermen planet, Earth's old twin planet. And hee hee, there was a bit where the Doctor was "rushing" and he would have been running like the new Doctors if he hadn't been too old.

Jeeze, you really need to hear these guys. They sound like they're trying to overcome speech impediments. Oh, I see, the Cybermen want to take all our energy because Mondas is running out, and they'll take everyone on Earth back to Mondas. Lame.

I really just can't describe what this is like, it's so old... it's so foreign to me. Well, I guess not really, it's just an old scifi serial, but it's beyond explanation. I just don't know what to say about it. The music... the dialogue... so odd.

So apparently, William Hartnell was ill (which is why he isn't in the third part of this episode), and so the Doctor just passed out for absolutely no reason. Well, I guess he is 450 years old, that's enough of a reason.

So the crazy American wants to set off the Z bomb to destroy Mondas (and basically all life on Earth in the process with radiation), but Polly goes "This is clearly a terrible idea" and convinces the not-crazy American to pretend to follow his orders but in fact make sure the bomb doesn't launch. And the Doctor is simply out of commission, supposedly napping, but they just kind of avoid actually showing him. William Hartnell was lying around at home, presumably. Wow, that is a fantastically realistic drawing... um... no...

This episode is all diplomacy and policy. Just a bunch of men in a room talking forcefully, arguing and negotiating. Ah, he reminds Polly to take her coat as she is taken as a hostage... that must be significant, since that's a stupid thing to say otherwise.

That last bit was a bit confusing, seeing as it was mostly pictures and audio, with occasional explanations of what was going on that we couldn't see. Anyway, the Cybermen aren't that scary yet. But they do seem to have all died and their home planet was destroyed.


Quotes:
"That'll fix you, Europe will know there's an emergency here now!"
"Look, you just keep your mind on making coffee, will you?! ...I'm sorry, that was rude."

The Curse of Fenric

I've decided to go through (again, in no particular order) most if not all of the episodes listed here, barring ones I feel like I need to see other episodes beforehand to fully understand (i.e. Cybermen episodes - I'll get around to the Cybermen eventually). I'm starting with the Curse of Fenric, which promises to be good on the character development front. Plus, I can't get enough of Seven and Ace.

What the... what is Ace wearing? And why? She says she'd rather go rock climbing, and the Doctor says "Not in those clothes!" and laughs kind of maniacally and she kind of goes "Hey!" I'm not sure what's going on with them right now. Hee hee, she calls him the Professor so much she introduces him that way. I hope I haven't missed anything, I've no freaking idea why they're here. And what are these accents??

Aw, he's so like her authoritative father or uncle or babysitter. Cute. Oh, Ace is wearing period clothing I think. That seems like a first. I guess she's the only one who would already draw enough attention for breaking social standards without dressing like a punk. And she's made some friends. Girls! Just went up and said hello!

Hey! Don't stand on the grave! So disrespectful. Aw, man! The crazy old crone is right! She says Maiden's Point is where you can hear girls who lost their souls to evil, or something like that. And from screencaps and such I know she's right. Damn. And I understood that Russian word on the folder! It said "confidential"! And I didn't even need to sound it out or anything!

Hm. Pretty sure those girls are gonna die. The Doctor specifically said "Don't go in the water" and they're all going for a swim. Dead. Ah, and Ace isn't. Yep, they're definitely gonna die. And I think Ace may not know how to swim, because her response to their invitation to swim was "Swimming is stupid". Oh hey, the WWII girls are doing that thing where they drew lines on the backs of their legs to make it look like they were wearing stockings even though no one had stockings.

The Doctor just made a weird noise at Ace. And the Doctor is not dealing well with the presence of a baby. And Ace is pretty evidently damaged. She learns the baby's name is the same as her mother's and immediately hates the poor thing. Heh, he spends a lot of time holding her back from trying to beat the shit out of people.

Woah! Graphics! The letter appearing in the wall - special effects! And the Doctor, well, almost said "Что ты видел?" (What did you see?) but he said it kind of weird. And now he's acting like Ace's irritable tutor. He wants her to notice that these inscriptions they're looking at weren't there that morning, and he keeps prodding her like teachers do. Oh, whatever. Maybe he's missing having spawn now that he's over 953 and everything. Hm, you know they wouldn't even bother acknowledging the sexism of the past because it's inconvenient, seeing as all the companions are girls.

The Doctor is really against mass murder, even (especially?) in the context of war. This English guy wants to kill everyone in Moscow (basically) with this poison gas stuff to end the war. And the way he wants to do it is to rig the computer thing to self destruct when the Russians try to decode the word "love", which will be included in one of their cyphers. The Doctor astutely notes that it's "inhuman".

Those stupid girls are swimming in their jumpers. Woah... let's talk about odd glimpses into the Doctor's life... "Do you have any family yourself?" "...I don't know." "Oh, it's the war isn't it? It must be terrible not knowing." "...yes..."

Yup, the girls have been converted into water monster things. Sirens. They lure people into the water and they get eaten by water monsters. Vampires! They're vampires! They drained the old woman of blood. Vampires are always water monsters, I guess. Eugh, they're grody. Man, I think it's actually raining outside. The mics are picking it up. What a shame for the BBC. Mm... Ace and the Doctor are so cute. Argh! What's happening to Ace? She wanted to make sure the woman and the baby were ok, and then she said she wasn't sure any more that she never wanted to get married. Damn.

The Doctor is... speaking an incantation that repels the water monster vampire people. And Ace just set off more explosives and the Doctor goes "I'll talk to you later" with this expression of mock anger. And that soldier guy is repelling the vampires with the power of his communist ring! Doctor, what do you mean the Russians are our allies? I mean, for the moment, but you do in fact know what happens after the war. Not that they ever actually posed enough of a real actually threat for this poison thing to be anywhere near justifiable.

Ace says "I can distract the guards" and the Doctor says "How?" and she says "I'm not a little girl" and I go, does she mean...? And then... yes. Yes she does. In a weird, cryptic, I'm not sure it would really work kind of way. Except she maybe just be confusing him, really. she's certainly confusing me. Oooh... he was the one who already had a crush on her.

Aw, man. They got the vicar in the end. I knew they would. This is really intense.

What the...? Woah! Fenric takes the old guy's body and says "We play the contest again, Time Lord. You left me in the shadow dimensions, trapped for seventeen centuries. But now, I've found a body again, and the preparations are complete." I actually gasped. This is so cool!

Um, does Rock-a-bye Baby have a different tune in Britain?

I think that guy just gave Ace a genuine communist badge! Cool, but, huh. I dunno. Ok, the faith (in just about anything) combined with an emblem (ideally) repels the vampires. The guy gave his thing to Ace, so he doesn't have the emblem anymore... but... the sickle and hammer are right on his hat. Like, right there.

Woah... I just realized... I think that baby is Ace's mum. The timing works out, right? She's got the same name and Ace just sent the woman and the baby to go be looked after by her (Ace's) nan in London. I think she just set in motion the events leading to her own birth. And... then she watched two nice girls who'd been turned into vampires melt before her eyes. Nice.

Myerg... it's getting all dark and stuff. True evil, pawns in his game, creating using people, using Ace. Since the baby lived, Ace was born, and since Ace was born, she accidentally gave Fenric the answer to the chess puzzle, and he wins the game. So the wolves of Fenric have released him, or something. And Ace's faith in the Doctor kills the Ancient One (who is a vampire)! AND IT ALL MAKES SENSE! HOLY GOD! EVER SINCE ICEWORLD, WHERE THE DOCTOR FIRST MET HER! SHE WAS A PAWN! AND THE DOCTOR IS BLUFFING, RIGHT? RIGHT???

You see, Ace was a plant by Fenric, who needed her to figure out the puzzle, and for that there needed to be a chess set, and the baby needed to live so Ace could be born. And the Doctor may or may not have figured that out, but in any case he needed Ace to loose her faith in him so the Ancient One wouldn't be crippled by it, because the Ancient One really wanted Fenric dead, because Fenric was the one who caused the Earth to be all poisonous and destroy the world as the Ancient One knew it. So the Doctor said a bunch of mean things about Ace so she would lose her faith and the Ancient One would kill Fenric!

Wow, that was damn good. Damn damn good. That should have been the last episode, I think. Well, after that I don't think I have a choice but to move on to the actual last episode... oooh, should I? Or should I save it??? TELL ME!!

Quotes:
"I can see you've never been handicapped by great intelligence."

A note on the Doctor's age

Steven Moffat says the Doctor can't possibly know how old he is, which is why, despite what is said in the old series, he decided that the Doctor was 907 as of Vampires in Venice, even though he said in Time and the Rani (Seventh Doctor) that he was 953. And that's if you're just taking the show as canon (which I am). If you accept spinoffs and alternate media, though, he's established that he's over 1100. Of course, there is evidence that he does lie about his age. But that's not what Moffat says. He says he couldn't know how old he really was unless he was counting on the wall or something. Couldn't the TARDIS keep count? He travels in time with the TARDIS, so presumably their timelines are pretty much in sync. Another theory (supported by some spinoff media) is that he adjusts the number based on the length of a year in the context in which he finds himself. I think it's silly. He may not know exactly, but even at around 1000 years old, 100 or more years is still a big difference, right? When you're 90, maybe you would have forgotten exactly how old you are if not for people reminding you, but you know you're not, like, 78, right? I mean that's still a big difference, right? Percentage-wise?

The Caves of Androzani

Ok! Time for the story recently rated the best Doctor Who story of all time. I wanted to watch a Sixth Doctor story, but his first story starts after he's regenerated, which happens in this episode I'm pretty sure. Anyway, it's supposed to be good so it's worth watching. I don't like Peri. She's American, irritating, and not supposed to be too terribly bright. Even the Doctor doesn't seem to like her that much.

Ugh, will she ever shut up? And Gee she's short. Or Peter Davison is tall. Probably both.

Pfft, wow, that's not the sort of animal you'd expect would be able to sneak up on you. Hooray! Peri just somersaulted down a hole and the Doctor was barely perturbed! It would be upsetting how callous he's acting if I didn't hate Peri so much. Ok, a really great exchange about the celery just happened that I can't sufficiently describe or transcribe, so here you go: Why do you wear a stick of celery in your lapel?

Woah! I think that guy just broke the fourth wall to call the audience "spineless cretins". Ok, the Doctor has put his arm around Peri and is being friendly in response to external meanness. And he did note the pain in her leg, even if his initial response was apathetic. Ugh, I don't want to look at lips of some mystery mime up close.

He just did it again! That guy is freaking me out. At least I think it was the same guy. These people are all creepy and violent, it's hard to tell them apart.

Can this spectrox really be the most valuable substance in the universe if the Doctor has never heard of it? Uh oh, here they come for the Doctor and Peri! I wonder how they're going to get out of this one?

And the mysterious mime is laughing. He's wearing a black and white mask of some sort, that's why I'm calling him a mime. Um, this is getting frighteningly close to them actually being shot... Oh noes! They started shooting! How will they get out of it? Will they live? Find out next week on DOCTOR WHO!

That's where they ended the episode, the swine. But I don't have to wait! They seem to be ok, I guess... well, they didn't fall down, and now they're wandering around talking to the mime. Ooh... holy wow! Those were androids that were shot! The mime made androids to be shot so he could talk to the real Doctor and Peri. This is really good! Oh man, the mime is laughing and talking a little too much like Tim Curry, and he's touching Peri and it's making me nervous.

Did that guy just call that other guy a slut? This is weird, yo. I don't get these people. Dude, Doctor, don't tell Peri to bend down and touch her toes when the mime is around. He is so unnerving I can't handle it. Hee hee, you should have seen that, he's creeping on Peri and the Doctor kind of slides up from nowhere in front of her kind of grinning. But I don't want to do another video for this episode. This guy is comically loquacious.

The mime just said "Even I cannot bear to see or touch myself". Mostly, other people cannot bear to see you touch yourself. This guy is a classic wronged vengeful villain. Oh, you see, he's like the Phantom of the Opera, only lame. Um... I think the Doctor just got shot in the head... that can't be good for him. Oh, no, he's ok. Though, that other prisoner guy seems to have kidnapped Peri while the Doctor was out. Oh, lord, mime man is crazy nutso.

Hey, oh yeah, the dragon monster thing. Been a while, I'd forgotten about him.

"Led by your own cupidity"? What is with this guy?

Yeesh, mime just hit the Doctor and now his androids are ripping his arms out! Aw, and the Doctor just gave Salatin and Peri away. Whoops. Oh my, talk about Doctor whumping. Poor guy, this is uncomfortable. Yah! Now he's tied up and blindfolded!

GOD! SUCH A CREEPER! UNBELIEVABLE CREEPER! He's such a creeper, this guy.

Ugh, so much shooting. At least the Doctor is just running away. Although it doesn't make for the most gripping television. Oh, Doctor. Watch where you're going! He just tumbled down a huge slope like an idiot. His hair still looks great, though!

Will the mime just shut up and leave?! His mask came off and everyone is shrieking in horror at his face. Ha ha. And now he's carrying her around talking about how beautiful she is, all sad because she's dying from the spectrox poisoning. Celery! He just tried to cure her with celery! "It's a powerful restorative where I come from" he said! Celery! It didn't work well enough because her breathing and stuff isn't as good as a Time Lord's. Argh! The mime is touching her! Gross!

He's not that bad, really. I mean his face. He has severe burns, but he's not, like, so awful I'm screaming in terror.

Oh noes! The Doctor gave all the antidote to Peri! He is dying!! He just said he MIGHT regenerate, but he doesn't know! It feels different this time! What?! He's remembering all his companions... out of his mouth. They're coming out of his mouth, but there's the Master and he's saying he should die, when the others were saying he shouldn't... Ew, I don't like Colin Baker. Gross, I don't want to watch the next one. He just regenerated in front of her and he's being rude! What a prick! Lame. I'm gonna go watch someone else. The last episode of the old series before the movie, I think.


Quotes:
"Now what do we do?!" "...surrender?"
"If it ever gets out that I executed two androids, I'll be the butt of the army."
"You have the mouth of a prattling jackanapes."
"He said my mind was nearly the equal of his. Incredible conceit."
"How did you get past my androids?" "I don't know. Maybe they liked my face."

Friday, June 18, 2010

Remembrance of the Daleks

Back to Seven and Ace. I like her haircut. Well, not a haircut, but a french braid all the way along her head, looks a little like a mohawk from certain angles. She's so cool. It's a little bit of a shame she's with the most polite and intellectually curious and engaged Doctor. They're not a perfect match. But it is funny. And Ace keeps meeting cool people. Like that Asian girl and this guy in the cafe. They just had a conversation about how many pence are in a shilling and such, and it went entirely over my head. I don't know if it means she's from the future or the past or it's a parallel Earth or she's just been away for a while.

Oh ho ho!!! The inverted colours PLUS seeing the bones effects! The Dalek death ray improved over the years. I didn't realize they could do that effect before the new series.

Oooh, the Doctor is angry. He shakes his head and grumbles "Humans..." when the captain refuses to take his advice on how to deal with Daleks. Hey, two nitro nine bombs destroyed a Dalek's metal casing. That seems unlikely. Oh god, Ace and the Doctor driving reminds me of my parents. That's the one situation in which they argue and it's awful. Right here, no not right, left? You said left, no I said right!

Oooh... they're in 1963. I guess the currency changed...? Man, the Doctor is pretty down on humans right now. And Ace just pronounced "omega" as "OMega".

AAHH!!! IT'S DAVROS!!! Wowie! Ok. Anyway, the Doctor said something like "Humans - your ability for self deception is only matched by your ingenuity when trying to destroy yourselves." Seven is a severely elitist man, rolling his "r"s like that.

Ok, there we go. This Dalek just rose up in the air to get up some stairs. I guess they had to wait until the special effects could handle levitation until they put Daleks in situations with stairs.

So I've just got to the second installment of this story, and you know something? I really like the part of the theme tune that's in a major key. Hey, this Dalek is kind of white and gold in theme. Woah, and he's more emphatic than I've ever heard a Dalek, like he's really upset about it. Ok, those rolled "r"s are starting to bug me a little bit. He is so angry... I'm beginning to understand the state of mind that might have lead him to destroying his entire race. I'll have to see the movie and see what Eight is like.

A black guy!!! Look! Right there! It's a black guy, look at him! And he's... I knew it! He played Geoffrey, Will Smith's butler in Fresh Prince! Oh, that is fucking weird right there... and he's doing some kind of accent. The actor was born in the Caribbean, so maybe it's that. Oh, he did say something about cane cutting and Kingston, so that makes sense.

So... the Doctor went back in time to do... something with some casket that is voice operated and has a smoke machine inside it and HOLY CRAP IT LEVITATES. I don't know what on Earth is happening. Ok, everyone is saying "OMega". Maybe it's a British thing. Now, what's the Hand of Omega? Oh, well it was made by Omega, who I think shows up in an episode with Five that I started and never finished because I didn't know what was going on. I should go back and watch that at some point. He's a Time Lord apparently. That's an awfully small gravestone.

Now Ace is staying at a boarding house with that guy's mum. If this show were on cable there would've been some sexing by now. And hey, the Doctor just - did Ace just call that guy a homo? People keep treating her like a girl, poor Ace. Anyway, the Doctor upgraded her bat. The bat was reminding me of Earthbound enough already.

Gee, I've never seen the Doctor this irritable. He does get pretty testy when Daleks are involved and people don't understand the severity of the situation.

Oooh, it certainly is the '60s. Ace just found a sign in the window of the boarding house that said "No coloureds" (she took it down). I'm pleased with how distressed she was.

I am having some sort of phantom ad problem with Dailymotion. I start the video and a couple seconds in (about half of the time) the audio of an ad begins, but I can't see it and I can't find anything to turn off or kill. Very frustrating.

Man, these Daleks are pretty easily killed. I guess they figured they weren't that scary like that for the new series. You need to divide their atoms to kill 'em now. Although they did have the advantage of pincers. Well, actually, there are two different kinds of Dalek in this episode. Some are just kind of blobby and some have limbs and pincers and stuff. Interesting.

Ok, who the hell is this little girl with the creepy little kid music following her around?

Emperor Dalek sounds like he's having a heart attack. I mean it, he sounds like he's really pushing himself to grind out these lines and it's causing him pain.

The Doctor is acting weird. I really like Seven, kind of because I don't like him. It's hard to explain. He's funny sometimes, brilliant sometimes, but mostly just kind of this weird combination of exasperated and curious. Hey, Omega laid the groundwork for Rassilon. Dick. Hmm... I guess this Hand of Omega thing... is how the Daleks get enough time travel power for the Time War to be as deadly as it was. The Doctor wants them to get the Hand of Omega, though. I can't for the life of me think why. Ok, what is with this vaguely inspirational '80s power ballad type soundtrack? Ech.

WAAUUGGHHH!!!! THAT'S NOT DAVROS!! THAT'S THE LITTLE GIRL WEARING A HELMET! MY MIND HAS BEEN BLOWN.

Wow, I just realized how much I've already written for this episode. I'll give it a little break. Hee hee, the Doctor just did another magic trick. And Phil Collins seems to be on his way, judging by the music. Dude, the guy just asked Ace out in the middle of a Dalek invasion. And then... revealed himself to be a spy for the Daleks? Old Who is confusing. Hee hee hee!!! That Dalek looks chubby! That's hilarious. Jeeze, calm down, Emperor Dalek, you're gonna burst something. Get a hold of yourself.

Ok, HOW OLD IS THE DOCTOR? He just said the words "It's easy, when you have 900 years of experience", but at the end of Flesh and Stone he says he's 907 years old. I refuse to believe that there were fewer than seven years between Seven and Eleven, and that the Doctor has been rewiring electrical equipment since before he was seven. Also, Emperor Dalek looks like a mushroom.

Oh, Emperor Dalek is Davros. He looks weird. Firstly, his mouth moves when he talks now, which I'm pretty sure it didn't before, and he's covered in wires and stuff. The Doctor is really upsetting Davros. Well done, dude. I mean, Davros is pretty irritable, to be honest. He certainly gave the Daleks his manner.

Woah! Skaro just vaporized! The Hand of Omega malfunctioned and vaporized Skaro. Then it came back and destroyed the mothership, but not before Davros begged for mercy and the Doctor sneered in response. Woah, those are some weak stairs. Hmm, the Doctor just destroyed a Dalek with the same technique that made the one in Dalek (New Who) kill itself. No superiors, no inferiors, no purpose.

Ok, 136 episodes to go. I will stick to good or important ones until I know I've done all of them before I go on to ones that are neither.

Quotes:
"Lack of food makes me hungry, you know!"
"Ace! Give me some of the nitro nine that you're not carrying."
"Can you drive?" "Why?" "Good, I thought so."
"You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies."
"With respect group captain, your career is magnificently irrelevant."
"Ace, you're hurt!" "I had an argument with the window."
"What did you do to it?" "I shorted it out. Daleks are such boring conversationalists."
*interrupting Davros* "... all powerful, crush the lesser races, conquer the galaxy, unimaginable power, unlimited rice pudding, etcetera, etcetera!"

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways

Let's do some New Who! I never actually watched the finale of the first season. I started it, but I was watching with my dad and there were a lot of British cultural references I knew he wouldn't get. So here I am. I do kind of like Christopher Eccleston, he's funny and kind of... alive and real. Got to a point in his life (the Doctor, I mean, I know nothing about Christopher Eccleston) where he's done so much and seen so much as to be totally angry and broken, but Rose kind of fixed him and he can be happy for real again. Ok, I still haven't seen the movie so I don't know about Eight or anything, but I like Nine, ok? Nowhere near as sexy as Ten, obviously, but funny and neat.

I do love these references. I don't get them 100%, but enough. Anyway, Nine is sweet. Kind of oblivious, in his own world, cute. Argh, stretchy camera! And I always knew these shows were pure evil. And Anne Robinson doesn't look very different from real life...

Ugh, Jack... and the laser gun thing... let's just not... I'd be very upset if this were an American show.

I'd just like to say, I mean, obviously the Doctor won't sacrifice a friend to get rid of the Daleks' bargaining chip, but to be honest, didn't he destroy his entire planet and kill everyone on it to end the war? I still find that a little out of character. I mean, yeah it is a neat aspect to the new series, that he's the only Time Lord left, but I really don't understand why he did that. He doesn't run out of options... except I guess in a gigantic war too awful to even show the audience the options really could have been Gallifrey or the universe.

Yeah, they did die for nothing! Romana died for nothing.

Man, he is always doing that to Rose, lying to her and sending her away. What a jerk.

I've got to watch The End of Time Again. I mean, I don't want to waste time I could be watching episodes I haven't seen before, but I really want to see those again and I don't think I paid enough attention the first time. Anyway, I think I've seen from here while going back to see important parts of series 1, so I'll leave you. This was fun, eh?

Hey, I just realized something! The Doctor probably didn't know Jack was still alive! He thought he died and didn't realize what Rose meant when she was talking about bringing life or breathing life or whatever. So he didn't abandon him the way I thought, callous and without thinking about it. He thought he was dead, so he just left. He didn't go back for Lynda either. I feel better now.

Christopher Eccleston has funny ears.

Four to Doomsday

Another! Another! Next in line. I don't know how long I'll be going in order like this for, but for now it's working pretty well for me. Old episodes used to flow into each other much much more. Oh, Doctor. What is that thing on your head? Oh, jeeze, that was pretty funny. They're talking about Earth fashion and the Doctor says "Some of them even wear safety pins" meaning as earrings. The '80s, I guess. Heh.

Wow, Tegan can draw really quite well. Oh, holy god. It's... well, it's... an African. And the TARDIS isn't translating him. Oh crap, no, it's not an African. He's an Australian aboriginal and Tegan can understand him. There still is no reason why the TARDIS won't translate him. Anyway, he's one of many people from various times and places on Earth, though the rest seem to be translated. And look, there are the people Tegan drew. It's the two green people who weren't the Monarch (played by Stratford Johns? That's not a name).

These Earth people are really weird. Cryptic, lethargic, and weird.

And now we're watching an endless show of Earth culture. Some kind of flute dancing and now some dragon dancing, oh god, why is this happening?? It's like Orgy of the Dead! Oh, god, I'm sorry, Doctor Who. I didn't mean it. I really didn't. It's not like Orgy of the Dead at all. I'm so sorry. Not at all like it. Oh, thank heavens, the dragon thing is ending. Please let there not be more.. SHIT. Now it's Roman gladiator stuff. What kind of boring people prefer this as entertainment to ANYTHING ELSE??? Oh, but the boring Greek guy is helping the Doctor do... something. Um, did the Monarch just say... "Flesh time"? I don't know how to feel about that.

No, yet more! Now it's the Australians! Oh for the love of all that is clay, who thought this was a good idea? Waugh! Old Greek guy is a robot! I think they're all robots. Ugh. Oh, god. The Doctor just said "Chinaman". Fucking '80s. Anyway, fleshtime! And here we go with the "androids can't feel love, isn't that awful" and "oh, no it isn't, what's love anyway". The Monarch wants to turn Earth people into robots to save them from sickness and hunger and stuff. It's like Age of Steel and such. So irritating after a point. We won't become robots, get over it. And my god, these people are so DULL. THAT'S the problem with this plan, it makes everyone DULL. SO DULL. An eternity of DULL. This episode is becoming DULL. I THINK I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR ABOUT 48 HOURS WITH ABOUT THREE HOURS OF NAP. I'M HUNGRY. Ok, you know what, Adric is being an idiot. I don't like him any more. I hope he dies soon. Stop telling people about the TARDIS. That's the Doctor's ace in the hole.

Oh, look at that celery on his jacket. Silly man. Hee hee, that was funny. I can't describe it, I suppose I'll show you. I just find this exchange hilarious, especially the end: check it out.

But Adric is the real destructive fool here. He doesn't see the harm in the Monarch wanting to turn all of humanity into robots. What a stupid freak. And HOLY FUCK! Tegan just operated the TARDIS! How did she do that???

The Doctor said he was shortsighted in his right eye. I guess that's what the brainy specs are for. And OH GOD there's going to be more dancing! Oh my god I hope that's not what he meant. And there's a handbook for the type 40 TARDIS. And GOOD GRIEF IT IS MORE DANCING. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS??? Ugh, the Doctor is bluffing very obviously, knowing the Monarch can hear him, saying how cool he's just realized the Monarch is, and Adric actually believes him. What an idiot. He can't die in a fiery inferno fast enough for me. And the Doctor just called Adric an idiot!!! Hooray!!! Finally. And OH GOD IT'S THE FIRST DANCE YET AGAIN. Ugh, Adric was bluffing when he said he'd go along with the vampires, but he's definitely not now. But I think he's just come to his senses and he's going to help the Doctor. Good good.

MORE DRAGON DANCING. I don't know how much I can say from here on in. I just tried to work out after an astonishingly small number of sleeps and basically collapsed after about 15 minutes. Oh for the love of god... enough with the dragon dancing! Oh... oh my... no, please. Whatever that is, I prefer the dragon dancing. Oh, please, oh god... this is so much worse. Diaper wrestling? Clumsy failed gay sex? Please, enough!

Mmm, the Doctor can withstand subzero temperatures for about six minutes. One day I will catalogue all these little facts.

Ok, so I'm not really sure what happened with that ending there, but I don't really care. Nyssa just collapsed, but, again, I just don't care. I'm gonna watch more Four.

Quotes:
"Hello. I am Monarch." "Yes, you look like you might be."

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Castrovalva

Ok, I know I said I wanted to go back and watch more Tom Baker, but Peter Davison just looked so cute sitting up in Four's clothes like that, I just had to continue with this story. So here we go. Suddenly it's weird having the Doctor be so young. He's all cute and confused. It's suddenly disorienting to have the Doctor suddenly be someone else. And he's acting really weird. I've never had regeneration feel so bewildering. He's all... thinking he's other Doctors and talking to the Brigadier and Jamie. And for some reason his new outfit is waiting for him in front of a mirror. And there's the recorder from Two, but no. His prop is to be a fucking cricket bat. And here's his room - a cricket enthusiast haven. Why you ask? Crack. Pure crack. Pure, unadulterated, totally canon crack.

Waugh!! He's floating! The Zero Room is cool! This is how he sleeps here, I guess. Neat. Tegan is Australian. Hey! The brainy specs! D'aww...

I do like him. I mean, he's no Tom Baker, but Four was getting so angry and distant by the end anyway... maybe that's just what happens to them? I mean it never happened to Nine, but Ten certainly went batshit for a while before he regenerated.

What the...? What the hell are those people wearing? I mean really. Seriously, you people look ridiculous.

Ok, spent a lot of time just watching and absorbing there. Basically the guy who everyone thought was in charge of Castrovalva was actually the Master in disguise, and Castrovalva was a creation projected by Adric's mind, as was the instruction manual in the TARDIS computer. The Master made some funny faces and poses when he thought the Doctor was evading him. I don't know, their relationship is very odd at this point. And the Master is still an expert weirdo.

Logopolis

So there's this part of the TARDIS where the Doctor goes to pace up and down and think, and it's pretty expansive and it's got like vines all over everything and it looks like this neat place with stone pillars and things. Really neat, we should talk about it more.

Now he's taking Adric to Earth, and we're meeting Tegan, and super fun stuff. The Doctor wants to go to Earth... to measure a police box, then take the measurements to Logopolis to... fix his chameleon circuit? Well, something like that. I am terribly confused.

Oh, look! Romana's old room! I'll take a screenshot of that (screenshot). You can see her hat! And the TARDIS has popout controls. He's thinking about the chameleon circuit because that's how the Master hid from them on Traken. Oh, I really do need to just pay attention. This may be a short, choppy entry. I like Tegan.

Lol, they just landed right next to a real police box.

Waugh!! What's that??? Some kind of white human thing!!! Weird. Anyway, he's measuring a real police box so they can... make the TARDIS look like a police box? More? Oh, for heaven's sake. I'll get back to you when I figure out what the hell is going on. There it is again!

Oh, heavens... he's created some kind of paradox. When you go into the police box he sucked into the TARDIS there's the inside of a TARDIS with a police box in it, which presumably is also a TARDIS with another TARDIS inside it, and so on and so on. Oh, you know what? The TARDIS really does have double doors. Oh, wait, you know what? That thing at the beginning... maybe that was the Master's TARDIS materializing around the police box as a police box, so now they're in the Master's TARDIS. Doesn't explain why the police box they absorbed just TARDIS'd away... AARRGGH!!!

Ok, one thing is now clear. That's definitely the Master laughing like that. Oh, never mind! I really really am going to go off until I figure out what's happened.

My, the Doctor is very angry. And he just said he and Master have the same mind. I don't know what to make of that. Now I think he's trying to drown the Master... who I think is inside the TARDIS, in his own TARDIS. Oh, for heaven's sake. I still don't get it, I don't know why I came back.

That white thing is still hanging around. Now he's beckoning in a weird way. The Doctor just said "Nothing like this has ever happened before." Oh dear.

Eugh, the Master is smiling at Nyssa all creepy... she thinks he's her father 'cause he looks like him. And he's acting all creepy, ooh! He's such a sketch! Ugh, what a creeper. The way he walks around and... leans at people. Blech, the leaning! And he makes the Doctor very uncomfortable. Woah, they are quite habitually standing quite close to each other, look. Oh, never mind me. So I'm a creeper too. But I don't... lean at people like he does. With his moustache and his velvet outfit and his leather gloves. It really is weird to see the Doctor with another Time Lord again. The chemistry really is different.

Wow, woah, Doctor! So angry! "I've never chosen my own company!" And he yells at Nyssa because she was the one who begged him to help her find his father, and Adric was a stowaway, and now he's being forced to team up with the Master to keep the whole fucking universe from collapsing. I didn't know Tom Baker could do grim and angry and desperate. And he says the Master has a brilliant mind. Ok, this episode is cool.

Wait a second, they had headphones way back then? My world view has been shattered! And there's that white thing again! What the hell is it? Oh, you know what? It just hit me for real that this is the episode in which Four dies and turns into Five. I mean, I like Five and all, but Four is still my favourite... *pout*. I'm going to go back and watch more four after this. I don't care about finishing this little Master saga, I miss Four already. Oh no! There he goes up the tower thing! Waahhhh! And the Master is laughing maniacally, he's gonna kill him - look out Doctor!!

Gee, sometimes you just want to grab this guy by the lapels and scream at him - what the hell is wrong with you?? Get a girlfriend, for fuck's sake, or a fucking stamp collection. My god, don't you have better things to be doing? That kind of thing.

Doctor, nooooo!!!! This body isn't as strong as David Tennant's, which can somehow survive jumping out of a moving spaceship and crashing through a glass ceiling before falling onto a hard stone floor. And there's that white thing again! What the... it's the Doctor...? It just went into him and he regenerated... oh for fuck's sake.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Keeper of Traken

And the journey continues. We're back in N-Space, Romana and K-9 are gone, now it's just the Doctor and Adric. I like Adric. He's cute. This is a little weird, though. He keeps touching him... no, not like that. I mean just on the shoulder and... ok, so I'm warped! It just seems odd that it's the Doctor and this little kid.

So. They're going to Traken, and this old guy (the Keeper of Traken) just popped into the ship in a big velvet chair. He seems nice. Traken is a place held together by people being terribly nice to each other, but the Keeper says there is great danger all of a sudden! Wow, this guy is powerful. Good thing he's on our side. He can just kind of use the TARDIS just by thinking about it. Ok, so the problem is that there are nightmoths, and some things called melkar (I think) that grow weeds and look like modern art, and die eventually because they're evil and evil things just kind of die on Traken because the atmosphere is so nice. But the Traken people feel bad for them because they die and the Traken people are so so nice.

Hey, that looks like...! Yeah! There's Nyssa, which means this is the planet where the Master takes the body of some guy because he's at the end of his regenerations. I knew that grey-haired guy was Anthony Ainley. Yay, the Master is in this episode! Oh, the guy whose body he takes is Nyssa's father. That's so sad.

It's so much more calm and intellectual than the new series. No running around. More reading. More debate.

Well, that episode was a bit uninteresting, in the end. The gross decrepit Master is really weird. I mean really quite weird. And a definite creeper, too. All that talk about bodies, he was not pleasant to watch. Anyway, that episode was only important for the rejuvenating of the Master, and now he's rejuvenated, so there you are.

Quotes:
"And as for your handwriting...!" "My handwriting? What about my handwriting?!" "...It's absolutely marvelous."

Warrior's Gate

Alright, time to say goodbye to Romana and K-9. This is the last episode in which they appear (well, as real companions anyway). Comes right after State of Decay, so the setting is still E-Space, and Adric is still along for the ride. And K-9 is a walking (rolling?) disaster area at this point, as well. Constantly broken so John Leeson doesn't actually have to participate. Ah, I love Tom Baker.

Heh, the guys on this ship (though kind of callous and evil and greedy in general) are pretty funny. At least their interactions are funny. They really convey the idea of a crew of people who've been stuck together in a kind of hopeless situation for a while and are loosing the will to care anymore. And now K-9 is broken again. And the Doctor is following a lion-man into an abandoned castle a point in E-Space with all coordinates zero.

Waauugghh!! The skeleton suit of armor thing just moved. Creepy. I think this episode was written by someone who was chronically confused. I can't exactly explain why, but it just feels that way. It's not the efficient fighter in the world, is it? I do like how the stop-start seizing type music is reflecting the movement of the thing. Ok, now the Doctor is holding a giant axe pretending to be a skeleton suit of armor. Fail.

Tee hee, Romana's funny. She tells Adric to stay inside the TARDIS and says "Especially if I do this..." and puts her hands up in the air then behind her head. Lol, and now she's playing with these guys' minds. I love her. Oh, that actually was meant to be a sign for Adric not to come out. Well, whatever.

Woah! Their freighter looks a little bit like Serenity! And the Doctor isn't doing so well against these guys. Well that was a gamble. He put his head down (as if giving up and allowing them to just slice his head off) and the two hit each other. Silly man.

Oh, poor Romana. She's been put in the torture chair the hairy guy was in before and she is not enjoying it one bit. Everything always happens to her. And now she's being assaulted by another of those hairy lion guys who's breathing all heavy. Pervert. Ok, obviously not really, but still. Weirdo. Ah, he's just releasing her. Neat.

Man I'm hungry, I think I'll go for a sandwich or something. Be right back.

Ok, had to scrap the sandwich idea. No bread. Well, ok, yes we have bread, but it's icky dry wheat bread. I got oatmeal instead.

Anyway, this episode is really confusing. Someone is speaking cryptically and the Doctor is confused. I feel totally lost. Oh, and poor Romana still. These two comic relief people are making me very tense [Tom Servo]. Gosh, this is weird. I don't even have much to say, it's just so odd. In a kind of lost, what's going on here, why are these people doing this, what is the gateway, why is the background suddenly black and white, how did we suddenly appear in History of the World Part I, and WHAT IS WRONG WITH K-9???

Oh, Adric! He snuck onto the ship! What a silly boy. I suppose he's there to save Romana. I get this feeling she could take care of herself, though. And indeed, here she comes!

God, at least there doesn't seem to be much more. Who the hell wrote this? What were they on? Was it written in a round robin of some kind? What is with this music? Can someone explain this nonsense? Oh well, who cares. So long as I understand why Romana sticks around in E-Space in the end I'll be ok.

Argh, what's going on??? Romana just teleported, and she and the Doctor just jumped forward in time a whole bunch. My god, this is strange. I am so confused. Whatever. I'm losing interest very quickly.

Huh. That was weird. And sudden. Just kind of... oh, Doctor, I'm not coming with you. I'm staying here. See ya! Ok, bye! Have fun!


Quotes:
"Just needs a little friendly persuasion, that's all." "I've been friendly!" "Probably too friendly. I said a little friendly. Firm, but friendly."
"Make safe the hatchway... close the door.... AFTER I'VE GONE THROUGH!"
"He's gone again. It's like talking to a cheshire cat."

We have lift off!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The Lodger (SPOILERS - highlight to read)

Woah! Cool stuff. I'm loving this episode. I'm talking to Henry on the phone as I watch it so I only just remembered to be writing this. I guess a little post-watch reflection is fine. So this is really cool, dude. I mean, not the coolest, but really well executed. The Doctor makes a really terrible human. And I swear he's going senile. He didn't used to be like that. I mean really, he didn't used to act as if he wanted to ruin peoples lives so completely. Only an old old man could be that uncool and harmful.

So yeah. The premise was a little random, and the overall plot wasn't really that interesting I don't think, and the whole "Doctor makes a terrible human, look at him screw stuff up" thing could have been terrible, but I think Matt pulled it off really well. And who doesn't love a good shower scene? Unless it's, you know, John Pertwee. Like it Spearhead from Space. That was just strange a little shocking and upsetting. Matt Smith, though. Not upsetting in the slightest. No sir.

I don't know, I can't think of that much to say about this one. It's really only interesting to watch, not much to talk about. Maybe I'll watch it again at some point and add to this post. Certainly add some quotes when I get around to it. Now, back to Warrior's Gate.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Spearhead From Space

Figured I check out the Third Doctor for a change. I've only seen him in the Five Doctors so far, so I'd like to really see him in action. Also I think this episode has the Brigadier in is, which is funny 'cause I just saw him old and now I'll see him young again. Let's see how this goes.

I just got the "Who's Elizabeth Shore" comment from the beginning of Battlefield when the Doctor gives Ace a fake ID. She's introduced in this episode. Also, every new Doctor is made to complain about what he looks like during their first episode. They look in the mirror and go "Oh, I'm hideous! Look at my horrible face! And this hair!" It's a bit cruel. But funny, of course. Oh, John Pertwee is being adorable. I didn't know he did that. Cuddling his shoes like that. I like recently-regenerated crazy Doctor. And oh my god. It's a wheelchair chase.

Alright, now the Doctor's been shot (I think), and he intentionally went into a kind of super-coma. I think this is probably what Romana did in Destiny of the Daleks when she had to pretend she was dead to get out of the mines. Only a real medical investigation could reveal he was alive, so Romana would probably get away with it. Somehow he thought his TARDIS key would be safe in his fist, though. Luckily it was picked up by UNIT people and not anyone more destructive.

Anyway, now it looks like aliens have invaded and taken over a doll factory. Alright. And Elizabeth Shore says the "meteorite" thing is artificial. Well, seeing as it had a plastic casing and was glowing all different colours and making computer noises, I think that's likely. And WOAH! There's a walking mannequin! Spooky.

WAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! WHY????? WHY????? Ok, not that horrible, I guess. But it IS John Pertwee taking a shower, not necessarily wearing any bottoms... though it's tough to tell. WOAH! Does he have a tattoo??? Crazy! That was an... interesting scene. Ah, and he just found his Third Doctor outfit in a hospital dressing room. Nothing's changed, I guess. Heh, he just stole a car. He's like Katherine Hepburn.

Ooohhh... it wasn't the TARDIS key. I wonder where it is?

Oh, man! Looking ahead, Third Doctor episodes are massive! Like seven parts each! I think I might either skip to some short ones or check out Patrick Troughton, or go back to some nice comfortable Tom Baker. Terror of the Zygons looks good.

Ah, no, it was the TARDIS key, it just doesn't work when anyone but the Doctor uses it.

Hey, wait a minute... that's not a dog... that's just a guy making dog noises! I'm sure of it! The BBC couldn't even afford a dog? Times must have been tough indeed.

Mmm, Autons. A plastic brain falls from the sky and takes over mannequins so it can walk around and kill things. Something like that. The motivation is a bit unclear. Oh, ha, the guy who's now an Auton but nobody knows it is made of plastic so he's all shiny but it just looks like he's really sweaty.

Aaahhh... and at the end, he calls himself John Smith, I think for the first time. I suppose I'll find out when I've watched all of One and Two. Ok, so that episode was perfectly fine. Not the most exciting or engaging, but fine. Hmm... what next? I'm not tiring of this at all, you know.

Battlefield

Could the young black female Brigadier seem any less interested in the events happening around her? Anyway. The Doctor is getting angry and a bit dark. This episode comes right after the Greatest Show in the Galaxy, so there's nothing I'm missing, I don't think. But the first time you see the Doctor and Ace in this episode he seems unbelievably irritated with her. Maybe he just doesn't like her that much, but I don't think that's it. I think maybe it's that the Doctor is beginning to realize and appreciate how old he is, and he doesn't feel like he needs such a youthful, enthusiastic companion. Of course, he does warm up a bit in. Maybe he was shaken by having to regurgitate eggs for his very life in the previous episode. And we see some definite responsible old man characteristics coming through when he sternly tells Ace not to order any booze. Anyway, he is getting a bit grim, I think. Though I don't think nine, ten, or eleven would ever say the words "One of these days we're going to have a nice long talk. About acceptable safety standards."

Now, onto the story. I think I may have misunderstood the Arthur legend in a couple of places. This is confusing. More importantly, the Doctor is Merlin at some point, possibly in an alternate universe. But it is suggested that it really is his own future, what with the letter he leaves for himself in Arthur's helmet. Although, it is also confusing because it's just confusing. There's some evil guy who thinks he's the shit, then there's his mom in a solid metal top, and Ace pulled the sword from the stone, there's some blond knight bothering the young brigadier, and there's some magic and evil and a flying green snake-dragon. And the young brigadier is kickass.

Holy god, the Doctor just did a Jedi mind trick... I mean he really really did. Watch it! It's exactly what he did!

You get a report from the hotel where Ace and the cool Asian chick are hanging out waiting to be attacked by an evil sorceress and the report says "Night has fallen" and you say you'll "deal with it later"? Are you kidding? That is so obviously significant.

Well, whatever. This episode is not one of my favourites. I mean it's ok, but it's really not very memorable. And the young brigadier's thing with the blonde guy is funny. And I do not appreciate the stripping blue lizard monster. I mean really, ripping off his shirt like a Chippendales dancer.

ACE JUST SAID GERONIMO!!! Neat. I mean, not that the Doctor heard it or anything, but I think it was funny.

Can I just write out the Doctor's speech about nuclear weapons, while keeping in mind what he did to end the Time War:

"Death, falling from the sky? Blind, random, anywhere, any time? No one is safe, no one is innocent. Machines of death, Morgaine, stringing from above, of light brighter than the sun. Not a war between armies, or a war between nations, but just death, death gone mad! A child looks up into the sky, his eyes turn to cinders. No more tears, only ashes. Is this honour? Is this war? Are these the weapons you would use?!"

And I swear the "you" at the end there sounded a lot like a "we".

Well, the Brigadier was alright in the end and he went back to Doris and lived happily ever after. Another happy ending...



Thoughts:
Look! An Asian!
The knight people look ridiculous. And they fight like the Black Knight. Except for the ray guns, of course.
By the way, what is that Russian guy doing in UNIT?
I feel like blind people probably aren't universally psychic in the real world.
Yay, it's the Brigadier!
The Brigadier says "I don't care if it's the king"... but they didn't have a king, did they? They hadn't had one since 1952, had they?
That blonde guy looks uncomfortably familiar...
And I fear for the Brigadier's life, now that he's promised his wife he'll come back safe.
Some people really need to work on their evil laughs. Mordred, for example.
The green flying snake thing looks quite a bit like Prisoner Zero.
Oh god, Mordred, really. Stop laughing. Really do.
Oh, god! Morgaine needs to stop laughing too!
Hey! Ghostbusters technology!


Favourite Quotes:
"How can he be the same man if his appearance and personality have changed?"
"He gets upset when I talk about explosives."
"Yes! Remember Bayden and my mighty arc!"
"Your wife? With your aspect, it is well that she is blind! Ha ha ha ha!"
"I cannot break the enchantment." "But I... am..." <- I swear, that's what I heard.
"Who said anything about chess? I'm playing poker!" *Ace comes through the portal and knocks down Morgaine* "And I've got an Ace up my sleeve!"

A wonderful clip

Friday, June 11, 2010

Vincent and the Doctor (SPOILERS - highlight to read)

Aw, poor Doctor. He knows Amy’s lost Rory, but she doesn’t. He’s being so nice to her, and she doesn’t even know why. I think the whole forgetting thing is new to him. He doesn’t forget, and it’s really tragic to him when people do (like Donna, for instance). KITTY! Sorry, there was a cat. Gah! And the bit where he automatically goes “Amy, Rory…” - so sad. And Amy was crying without knowing it or knowing why. Argh! This is so great, this episode. And I have to briefly mention the bow-tie exchange with the museum guy. Bow-ties are cool. And the Doctor quite likes praise that has nothing to do with how smart he is, as it turns out.

Oh! The accent thing. In a time and place where there aren’t Scottish people, but there are Dutch people who are gonna look similar, a Scottish accent is translated by the TARDIS as a Dutch accent, apparently. I always did wonder about accents, and how it did them. And what if there are people speaking a couple different languages? Do you understand everyone and speak several different languages? Does anyone wonder why you seem to know every language?

By the way, they cast Van Gogh really quite well. Well, according to the self portrait at least. Also, for Americans, yes they do pronounce it “Goff” in Britain. Apparently it’s supposed to be pronounced like “Loch” in Scotland.

The Doctor mentions a godmother (with two heads and bad breath). I think that’s interesting. Also, I love whenever they reference his previous regenerations, i.e. when the thingamabob identifies him and shows William Hartnell, then Patrick Troughton, then is cut off before John Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, and David Tennant (done from memory, no less).

Dude, what a great episode this is. Van Gogh is a special crazy guy. Nice to see someone with a near-crippling mental illness being so awesome and useful. Not that he wasn’t awesome in real life. Though he may not have been if they’re portraying him correctly. Anyway, you know what I’d like right now? I’d like for them to take Vincent as a companion after when he’s supposed to have killed himself. I love him. He loves Amy (just as I was typing that he actually said “I love you”). The writers are giving him some great lines (this episode is really funny, by the way), and I’m always sad to see cool people not come along. And they’d have Vincent Van Gogh as a companion! How cool would that be! Ok, I have to stop putting in quotes that aren’t absolutely fantastic, there are too many awesome ones. Right. I need to stop until later in the episode so I don’t overflow this post.

Alright, not a quote, but the noise the Doctor made when Vincent said “I think he rather enjoyed it” - priceless.

Anyway, significant is the moment when he says he getting old. And that sometimes winning is no fun at all. Man, there’s just too much in this episode. Who wrote this? They need to write more!

Wow. Just wow. I don’t think they’ve ever taken anyone from their past into their future like that. Oh, this is just indulgence on the part of the writer, but I love it. You always wish you could show artists how popular they became after they died. Argh, and Amy says she not the marrying kind… I think that shows just how special Rory was to her.

I don’t know how I feel about this music, though.

(By the way, they could still visit him before he died, you know. They’re constantly in a future where people from the past have died, but they can still go back and see them.)

Oh god… they give a support line number at the end of the episode. That was incredibly intense.

Quotes:
“Or, on the other hand, slightly more compassionately, yes?”
“Your hair is orange.” “Yes. So is yours.” “Yes. It was more orange, but now is of course, less.”
“Maybe you’ve had enough coffee now.”
“I’ll be back before you can say ‘where’s he got to now’… NOT THAT FAST!!! But pretty fast…”
“Is this how time normally passes?! Really slowly… in the right order…”
“But you’re not armed!” “I am! With overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted.”
“Return, and we will have children by the dozens!” “Uh, aaaiieee...”

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Greatest Show in the Galaxy

Awesome! I loved it! In spite of the rapping! I loved this episode for several reasons.

1. It was one of those episodes that managed to make you think what was going on was terribly important, even though it actually only affected a relatively small group of people. I mean, the Gods of Ragnarok are pretty sinister, but they were basically just terrorizing one group of ex-hippies and anyone who was dumb enough to wander into their circus. You cared so much about what was going on, it felt desperately important, even though it really wasn't.

2. It had some of the good elements of a New Who special, mostly in that you met a lot of really cool characters you're never going to see again (Mags, Bell Boy, King Pin/Deadbeat).

3. It had scary, evil clowns, which may not seem at first like a good thing, but I'm glad they portrayed clowns that way. Horrible creatures.

4. It had Ace!

5. It had the Doctor doing MAGIC TRICKS!!!

6. The dilema of whether or not the original hippies who founded the circus were right in thinking that they could make something that was just for fun that could last in peace like they envisioned. Obviously it didn't work out that way in this case, but the question is whether they were stupid for thinking it could.

I actually watched this episode before Full Circle, but I also watched it before I started this blog, and I couldn't resist writing about it since I love it so much. That's why this response comes so soon after the one for Full Circle.



On a side note, I just realized there was someone working on the show called Jeff Jeffery.

Full Circle

Well, I can't say it was one of my favourite episodes so far, but it wasn't bad. Interesting, at least, in some ways. The E-Space stuff is cool, of course. I feel like the planet with negative coordinates of Gallifrey should have been a bit more special, though. Although there was a familiar sense of overwhelming bureaucracy and ceremony that the Doctor so hated about Gallifrey. The bit where he's standing in front of the Deciders, furious at the deception of their people and the careless disregard for life, he seemed to upset about it it almost was as if it had hit a nerve. The amount of procrastination and laissez faire style shown by the Deciders really bothered the Doctor, as someone who continually shows a profound interest in respecting all forms of life. Anyway, I'm rambling.

Adric! I don't care what anyone says, I like him. I think he's sweet and cute and pleasantly independent. He knows the Doctor knows exactly what he's doing, but in the absence of instructions he can come up with something clever to do all on his own. And he's smart. I'm not sure how old he's supposed to be, though. Sometimes he's like a precocious twelve-year-old, but he looks at least 16. But I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be the youngest companion the Doctor ever had, and Ace was only 16, so he's probably younger than that.

And this was an episode in the full swing of "let's break K-9 as much as possible so John Leeson can go home early", so there wasn't much of him. Which I think is a shame. I didn't like him at first, but he grew on me. I think he's cute, I think it's cool when he's a little bit feisty, and I like it when the Doctor and Romana treat him like their pet. "'What is it'? It's my dog!" Cute.

Other than that, there really isn't that much to say about this episode. They get trapped in E-Space, they meet Adric, Romana is part marsh-creature for a while, and the Doctor gets mad at some stuffy old guys.

Favourite quotes:
"What is this, Noah's Ark? Where's Romana?!"
"How can you compare us to those things?" "Yes, I see what you mean. I suppose they are adaptive and intelligent."

Introduction Post

Hello, and welcome to the blog that will be chronicling my journey through the history of Doctor Who, from 1963 to 2010. This summer, I intend to watch (in no particular order) every episode of Doctor Who that is available (this rules out things like the last part of William Hartnell's last episode, which was lost by Blue Peter). The reasons I am not watching the episodes in order are thus: I have already seen enough out of order that it seems silly to go back and do them in order, I know enough of the history that they will make sense out of order anyway, and I am impatient. Each episode I watch, I will blog about here. I am counting one episode as all parts of one serial, which were produced all under the same name back in the day anyhow. Fun!

Entries for new (11th Doctor) episodes WILL contain spoilers.

These are the episodes I have seen prior to beginning this blog:

Robot
The Ark in Space
The Sontaran Experiment
Genesis of the Daleks
Destiny of the Daleks
City of Death
The Creature from the Pit
Nightmare of Eden
The Horns of Nimon
The Leisure Hive
Meglos
State of Decay
The Five Doctors
Dragonfire
The Happiness Patrol
The Greatest Show in the Galaxy
Rose
The End of the World
Dalek
The Empty Child
The Doctor Dances
New Earth
Tooth and Claw
The Girl in the Fireplace
Rise of the Cybermen
The Age of Steel
The Idiot's Lantern
The Impossible Planet
The Satan Pit
Love and Monsters
Fear Her
Army of Ghosts
Doomsday
The Runaway Bride
Smith and Jones
The Shakespeare Code
Gridlock
Daleks in Manhattan
Evolution of the Daleks
The Lazarus Experiment
42
Human Nature
The Family of Blood
Blink
Utopia
The Sound of Drums
Last of the Time Lords
Time Crash
Voyage of the Damned
Partners in Crime
Planet of the Ood
The Sontaran Stratagem
The Poison Sky
The Unicorn and the Wasp
Silence in the Library
Forest of the Dead
Midnight
Turn Left
The Stolen Earth
Journey's End
The Next Doctor
Planet of the Dead
The Waters of Mars
The End of Time
The Eleventh Hour
The Beast Below
Victory of the Daleks
The Time of Angels
Flesh and Stone
Vampires in Venice
Amy's Choice
The Hungry Earth